SAL Book: Things that Enslave Part 4

SHACKLE 8:

THE IRRESPONSIBLE CARE AND USE OF SEX

A couple of experiences I had as a 9th Grade English teacher in Houston, Texas, illustrate some of the negative, real-life consequences of sexual irresponsibility. The first experience occurred while teaching the designated novel for the year—a juvenile work of fiction entitled Speak, written by Laurie Halse Anderson. This book was the year’s most popular literary selection among students.

Speak, which was also made into a movie, tells the story of a teenage girl who was raped at a party prior to the start of her ninth-grade year. The book follows the protagonist through the year as she struggles with the difficult and painful consequences of her terrible victimization. Perhaps the most memorable thing from my experience teaching this book was reading Anderson’s own words about her experience traveling around the country to promote her book, whereby she discovered a trend that was disturbing, to say the least. In an answer to the question: Have any readers ever asked questions that shocked you?[1] Anderson replied:

I have gotten one question repeatedly from young men. These are guys who liked the book, but they are honestly confused. They ask me why Melinda was so upset about being raped. 

The first dozen times I heard this, I was horrified. But I heard it over and over again. I realized that many young men are not being taught the impact that sexual assault has on a woman. They are inundated by sexual imagery in the media, and often come to the (incorrect) conclusion that having sex is no big deal. This, no doubt, is why the numbers of sexual assaults is so high.[2]

If a young man believes that rape is a casual thing and no big deal, he has clearly received poor training in Self-Action Leadership. If young people everywhere were trained in subjects like reverence, rectification, self-discipline, honesty, humility, compassion, kindness, courtesy, self-observation, and self-awareness, there would be fewer uneducated boys and men in this country with cavalier attitudes toward women and sex. There would also be fewer unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and abortions.

My second experience occurred one day when a shy, diffident, young woman asked my female co-teacher if she could speak with her in private. Once outside the classroom, she divulged to my colleague that she had had sex with a boy who secretly videotaped their tryst and was now spreading the video around the school. My horrified co-teacher listened to her and then directed her to the proper administrative channels to appropriately address the situation.

I could only imagine what this young girl must have been going through mentally and emotionally during this horrific turn of events. My heart went out to her in her time of anguish. My heart also ached with the knowledge that such an unfortunate series of incidents could have been prevented with the proper education.

Sex is a serious act. Once engaged in, you cannot ‘take it back.’ Sexuality is a powerful force that, if not properly disciplined, can devastate individuals, families, communities, and even entire nations. Sex education at home and at school should not only be about ‘safe sex’, but also about ‘ethical sex,’ and ‘foregoing sex’ until a time in life when you are fully capable of making wise decisions concerning its free expression.

I recently read an article [3] about a mother who was concerned about her college-aged son because of the tendency of the typical college student to get involved in drinking and sexual activity. Her advice? She encouraged her son to always remember to send and receive a text message before and after sexual activity to provide hard evidence that any forthcoming sexual activity is consensual. The goal? To avoid legal issues surrounding potential rape allegations.

Rather than teaching ethical sex, or even abstinence to avoid the problem altogether, this mother was more concerned with her son avoiding legal issues, an indictment, or even jail time in the case of a tryst heading south. Her justification? In her own words, she said, “Let’s face it, the sexual revolution is real.” Resigned to the fact that her son was simply a victim of cultural forces and his own libido, she decided to take matters into her own hands by drilling into him the importance of getting a “Yes” text. She also took the liberty to fill his suitcase full of condoms.

This woman’s controversial comments evince a growing societal acceptance that young people simply will not, or perhaps even cannot, control themselves in regards to sex. They must therefore resort to protective measures to minimize collateral damage for unbridled sexual expression.

In this mother’s defense, she did teach her son to respect women, and it is certainly not wrong to try to prevent a potential date rape allegation. I have no doubt she loves her son and is simply doing what she feels is right to help protect him – which is more than many parents do. What she does not seem to realize is that in her efforts to be a responsible parent, she is implicitly sanctioning sexual permissiveness, and perhaps drunkenness as well.

Click HERE for full article by Roxanne Jones

Never forget, or take for granted, that you are the sovereign ruler of your own life and world. In making decisions related to sexual behaviors, SAL philosophy urges all self-action leaders to respect sex, and to make careful and responsible choices in regards thereto. SAL urges everyone to maintain the utmost respect for the consequences that will flow into your lives—and the lives of those impacted and influenced by your choices—as a result of our thoughts, words, and actions.

Incidentally, after completing an 11-volume history of the world – The Story of Civilization – authors Will and Ariel Durant penned an abridged classic called The Lessons of History. Their intention was to offer something to future generations, “that might illuminate present affairs, future probabilities, the nature of man, and the conduct of states.”[4] On the subject of sex, the Durants wrote:

A youth boiling with hormones will wonder why he should not give full freedom to his sexual desires; and if he is unchecked by custom, morals, or laws, he may ruin his life before he matures sufficiently to understand that sex is a river of fire that must be banked and cooled by a hundred restraints if it is not to consume in chaos both the individual and the group.[5]

I invite you to carefully consider these words, especially in light of its context—a secular observation made not by preachers or moralists, but by prestigious historical scholars after a thoughtful consideration of the totality of human events since the dawn of recorded history. I don't know what the Durants thought about sex from a moral perspective; I only know that they understood history well enough to comprehend the epic historical calamities brought on by sexual permissiveness. Sex is a wonderful thing, but like so many other wonderful things in life, it can quickly and easily go awry if we are not disciplined and careful, and the consequences can be devastating.

Do not surrender your sexual sovereignty.

SHACKLE 9:

THE ABUSE AND NEGLECT OF LOVED ONES

Human beings are the smallest units in larger social systems. The second smallest unit consists of a committed, long-term, intimate relationship. The third smallest is the family unit. All big problems in a society or culture have their roots in individual, companion, and familial problems. The government cannot regulate, much less solve, micro problems that exist on the personal, interpersonal, or familial level. Individuals, couples, and families must control and regulate themselves and their interactions with others. Failure to do so has a ‘trickle-up’ effect, in which problems at the micro level manifest themselves throughout a society.

I travel a lot with my work, and I often find it fascinating how kind, respectful—even generous—complete strangers are to each other in airports, airplanes, hotels, restaurants, and rental car outlets. I often wonder how all these kind, considerate, mature people act when no one else is looking, or in their personal relationships and families. It would be interesting to know.

There is no error quite as true as to abuse those nearest you.

SHACKLE 10:
THE DISREGARD FOR, AND DEVALUATION OF, HUMAN LIFE

The disregard for human life often begins before human beings ever see the light of day, and continues on after birth. Throughout the world, including in all of our nation’s greatest cities, human life is often carelessly sacrificed on alters of drugs, ego, lust, narcissism, pride, revenge, and selfishness. The ultimate disregard for human life manifests itself in murder—the antithesis of life, opportunity, and human progress. It is the purest personification of irresponsibility, the endgame of the blame game, and the ultimate abdication of human nobility.

Far removed from murder, yet far more ubiquitous, is the devaluation of human life through inequality. By inequality, I refer to the idea that some human beings are somehow existentially superior to another. Such a belief is simply not true.

The truth is that every human being ever born possesses equal existential value. This value is complete, innate, irrevocable, and, I believe, eternal. Effective self-action leaders recognize this great truth. In-turn, they view and treat all human beings with the dignity, fairness, and respect that all members of the human race deserve.

The best leaders I have ever met are those that have internalized this great truth of existential equality. The following two examples personify this paradigm. Doctor Stirling Pack, Jr., is a former Senior Vice President of a Fortune 500 energy corporation. Through hard work and diligence, Pack rose through the ranks of his company to eventually become a ‘big shot’ that made millions and flew around the world on corporate jets.

Shortly before Pack retired, Nick—a lowly graphic technician—visited Pack in his office to present a thank you gift. Why? In Nick’s words: “You were the only senior officer that ever treated me like a human being.” Pack did not know Nick well. In fact, he had to think for a moment to recall how he knew Nick at all. Then he remembered: Nick had assisted Stirling a time or two in designing some slides for his executive presentations. That was the only association Stirling ever had with Nick. Pack did not tell me what he did or said to make Nick feel so valued; I don’t think he remembered himself. The point is that he did. Pack was the kind of leader who understood the great truth that no one is a “justa.” You know what I mean? “Just a” graphic technician, “just an” administrative assistant, “just a” custodian, or “just a” new hire. Stirling understood that existentially speaking, he was no better than Nick. As such, he treated him with the same kind of respect and regard as he would have treated his manager—the CEO of the entire company. All of the greatest leaders I have ever known share this trait with Pack.

Click HERE for full version of this original story about Stirling D. Pack, Jr., Ph.D.

Shortly after graduating from college, I got a part-time job as a retail salesman in a FranklinCovey store in Atlanta, Georgia. One day, my manager told me of an experience she once had with my Uncle Hyrum—a co-founder of the company. She and her colleagues were setting up a table of Hyrum’s books to sell at a national FranklinCovey symposium. As they worked, Hyrum—the Co-CEO of the entire company—just happened to walk by. Immediately, he jumped in and started helping them. My manager was surprised. Her comment to me was: “I didn’t think CEOs unloaded boxes.”

Hyrum’s actions left an impression on my manager that positively influenced her own leadership style. The story, in turn, left a positive impression on me. It continually serves as a reminder that no matter how high my own career ascent, I should never think myself too good or important to lend a helping hand when needed. And if that means scrubbing toilets (metaphorically or literally speaking), then so be it!

Click HERE for full version of this original story about Hyrum Smith.

THE TREES AND THE FOREST

One rotten tree does not a forest ruin. One bankruptcy in a hundred thousand doesn’t cause an economy to collapse. One crime of identity theft doesn’t result in a macroeconomic recession. One person who destroys one’s life and loses one’s family does not a country ruin. Allowing small numbers of people to take from, rather than give to, the national treasury is necessary at times in a just and merciful society. But as the number of selfish, self-indulgent, and undisciplined people grows, everyone suffers a little bit, then a little bit more, and so on in a downward spiral toward individual and collective decline and ruin.

If we continue to contribute to these problems, or collectively embrace and grant prestige to those who do, the ideals that made our nation great will fade away alongside our country’s greatness and moral authority. These TEN shackles pose serious problems to the United Sates of America and all other countries throughout the world. If we are to solve them, there must be more hacking at the roots of the problems, which always exist primarily inside the minds and hearts of individuals.

The numbers of takers and slackers is larger today than it has ever been our history. If we are not vigilant in retarding and reversing this treacherous trend, we will reach a tipping point with consequences more grievous than ever experienced previously. If unchecked indefinitely, we will eventually find ourselves just one of another ash-heap smoldering among the ignominious list of fallen empires. At Freedom Focused, we call upon men and women of integrity everywhere to reclaim American greatness by unleashing a new era fueled by education, integrity, character, and conscience.


Next Blog Post: Monday, December 15, 2014. Chapter 13: The Challenge & Quest to Become

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[1] Anderson, L. H. (1999). Speak (Platinum Edition ed.). New York, NY: The Penguin

Group. Page 206.

[2] Ibid. Page 206.

[3] To read the entire article, visit URL: http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/26/opinion/jones-sex-consent-texting/ or search for the title “Young men, get a ‘yes’ text before sex” by Roxanne Jones

[4] From the Preface of Durant, W. & Durant, A. The Lessons of History. No page number (Google Books version). 

[5] Ibid.  FromChapter V. Character & History. Second-to-last paragraph. 

SAL Book: The Importance & Power of Language

CHAPTER 2:
The Importance & Power of Language

I am currently writing a series of case studies for a new college textbook that will be used in coming years by budding entrepreneurs around the country. One of the entrepreneurs I interviewed for this project was my Uncle, Hyrum W. Smith—a co-founder of FranklinCovey Company. An extraordinary entrepreneur and salesman, Hyrum Smith has left an indelible mark on the fields of time management and personal development. As one of the finest public speakers in the World, Smith commands 5-figure speaker fees when he presents professionally. A lifelong entrepreneur, he was an ideal candidate for one of my case studies.

At the end of the interview, I asked him what advice he would give to young college students interested in becoming entrepreneurs.


I eagerly awaited his response, and felt sure he would have something clever to say about sales, hard work, ambition, or personal responsibility and character. To my great surprise, his reply had nothing to do with any of these things. In fact, his response had nothing to do with anything we would stereotypically associate with entrepreneurial success. This is what he told me:

"When I was just a boy, my father had me memorize a statement that said, You cannot think any deeper than your vocabulary will allow you to think. If you really examine anyone who has been authentically successful as an entrepreneur—or in any other field—you will discover they have a large vocabulary. As I reflect back over my career, I attribute much of my success to a love of the English language and my commitment to read deeply and widely, and to study speech and language. Anyone who wants to be successful in this world has got to read books, and lots of them. This requires a willingness to set aside electronic devices, social media, video games, and other distractions, and the discipline to stick at the task of reading—even when it seems boring. To learn independently of others and expand your vocabulary, books and the dictionary must become some of your best friends. There is no other way. The size of your vocabulary will, to a large extent, determine how much success you enjoy—or don’t enjoy—in your life."

I have visited Hyrum’s Ranch Home in Southwestern Utah. You should see the size of his library.

Language is potential power. When used properly, it becomes kinetic power enabling you to teach, negotiate, persuade, inspire, uplift, and do much good in the world. If you are interested in increasing your personal power and capacity to influence others as a self-action leader, you must make a commitment to becoming a better reader, writer, critical thinker, and presenter. I am not asking you to become a public speaker or professional writer. What I am inviting you to do is pay the price to work regularly on your communication skills—a skill set that Stephen R. Covey has called the most important skill we can be working on as adults. I would wager it is similarly important for young people to learn and master, and I’m sure Dr. Covey would agree.

Drawing Deeply From the Wells of Wisdom

As you read this book, you will notice I have gone to great lengths to include relevant excerpts from the timeless works of great writers, thinkers, philosophers, theologians, educators, scientists, leaders, politicians, and business figures. Another reason for this book’s length is my intentional decision to not merely garnish the text with such priceless additions, but to deluge and marinate it therein. These pervasive inclusions support and enrich the SAL theory & model. I hope they will inspire you in your life as they have in mine.

I express my gratitude to these enlightened and gifted men and women. They worked, struggled, and endured tremendous adversity to achieve extraordinary things in this world and produce timeless texts for us to study from today. I hope these selections will inspire you to study their lives and literature. I also hope it will help you to expand your own vocabulary. Without the teachings and literature of these great men and women, the Self-Action Leadership theory and model would not exist. Consider some slightly doctored words of the poet John Donne:

"No Literary Work is an Island, entire of itself; every text is a piece of a Collection, a part of the canon. If a sentence be washed away from a paragraph, the Chapter is the less, as well as if a Section were, or an anecdote of thy friends, or of thine own were. Every Author’s exclusion diminishes me, because I am involved in Authorkind. Never send therefore to know for whom the titles toll; They toll for thee." [1]

Learning the Lessons of Language

From associations with my Father—a high school English teacher—and other important figures in my life, I discovered the importance of language at an early age. My aunts and grandmothers would tirelessly correct my grammar. On road trips, my Dad and I would sometimes play vocabulary games, or study a “word-of-the-day.” In college, the most valuable notebook I kept was not for any of my classes, but contained an ongoing list of words and their definitions. As I would come across unknown words—and in college you are confronted with lots of them—I would write them down in my notebook along with their definitions and practice sentences. Not knowing a given word would fill my mind and heart with a positive frustration that would motivate me to look up the word—and keep looking up the word as needed until I owned it in my own vocabulary. It was a lot of hard work. It required patience, persistence, discipline, and focus; but all the effort has been immensely worth it.

Some people think you don’t need the dictionary much after completing your formal education. But even with a Ph.D., I still use the dictionary nearly every day. It is, without question, one of my best friends and greatest assets as a professional writer and speaker. “But,” you may say, “I am not a professional speaker or writer, nor do I ever intend to be.” While this may be the case, the fact is that in most fields, you are still expected to be a professional communicator, and the success (or lack thereof) of your communication skills could make or break your long-term success.

I know a man of science who has a Ph.D. in Chemistry. When he was in college, he didn’t think mastering writing was very important aside from passing his general education English courses. He was, after all, studying Chemistry and pursuing a career in Chemistry. Over time, however, he found himself rising through the ranks of his industry. As a man in his fifties, he confessed to me: “Jordan, I am now in upper-level management and about all I do is write.”

Consider another example: President Barack Obama. Regardless of your political views on President Obama, one thing nearly everyone can agree on is that he is a gifted communicator. As the youngest President in U.S. History who had never served in either the military (JFK) or as Governor of a State (Clinton), Barack Obama had the thinnest leadership resume in Presidential history, yet look at what the power of speech did to his rise up the career ladder! I believe we can all learn a lesson from President Obama about the power that effective speech can have in one’s personal and professional success. If you study our present Commander-in-Chief’s early life, you will learn that he paid the price over long periods of time to become the polished communicator he is today. This price included early mornings as a boy that began before 5:00 a.m. when his mother would require that he spend extra time studying English and other subjects she deemed vital to his future success. Like any other teenager, he didn’t particularly like these ultra-early morning language study sessions, but the results in his life made history—literally. President and Mrs. Obama are also well known for placing a high priority on the education of their two daughters—Malia and Sasha—and enforcing a highly disciplined schedule that allows ample time for homework and studying. Such is a non-partisan practice that any reasonable person can admire and applaud.

In lauding the incredible merits and power of speech, I do not wish to overstate the point. The ability to communicate effectively is NOT everything. Just as paper currency must be backed up by the tangible strength of gold, governments, and healthy economies, speech must be backed up by character, courage, and competence if it is to create positive results that last. Moreover, we must never forget the words of Nathaniel Hawthorne: “Words—so innocent and powerless they are as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become, in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.” Only a basic understanding of the history of World War II is required to comprehend how prominently this truth was revealed in the epic polarity separating Adolf Hitler and Winston Churchill—both masters of their respective language. Indeed, as history has amply evinced, the currency of language will only bring you short-term results unless it is backed by the gold standard of courage, conscience and competence. It is no surprise then, that the vast majority of the world’s noblest figures possessed bottomless capacities for both communication and conscience.

Like my Uncle Hyrum, I also attribute much of my success personally and professionally to my ability to communicate effectively. I am where I am today in large part because I was willing to pay the price in time and effort to learn how to effectively speak, write, and converse. Few things make a better first impression on a person or audience than intelligent speech. Similarly, few things make a worse first impression on a person or audience than ignorant speech. It is therefore in the interest of everyone to study language, speech, and vocabulary in a concerted effort to become better communicators, because regardless of your field, everyone is required to communicate. The extent to which you do so effectively will tremendously impact your overall effectiveness in working with people and achieving personal and professional success. It may even make the difference in whether you get hired, fired, promoted, demoted, or given a raise. And the good news is that language and communication is something everyone can work on and improve. It requires hard work, discipline, and focus, but the results can be profoundly impactful to your life in the most positive of ways.

In conjunction with striving to master your own, native language, it is also vital to study the English Language. This is because English is widely considered the international language of business. Most highly successful people in today’s Global marketplace speak English proficiently—regardless of their native language. An example of this is Jack Ma, the Chinese entrepreneur. Ma’s company, Alibaba, recently recorded the highest Initial Public Offering (IPO) in the history of the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE). Ma got his entrepreneurial start as a boy riding his bike 45-mintes away from his home to a large, international hotel so he could learn English by conversing with foreigners to whom he gave free sight-seeing tours. Today, he is one of the richest businessmen in the world.

To further empower your language skills, I encourage you to gain access to a good computer or smart phone dictionary app. Looking words up electronically is more efficient than doing it the old fashioned way. I also challenge you to start keeping your own dictionary notebook and begin studying your own “word-of-the-day.” You can also sign up to receive a free “word-of-the-day” in your e-mail inbox by visiting www.wordsmith.org/awad. There are few better ways to start your day than to build your word power.

For those undertaking a serious study of this book, it is my sincere hope that you will come out on the other side not just motivated to better lead yourself, but to become more philosophically, historically, and culturally literate. Likewise, I hope you will obtain a greater understanding, appreciation, and command of your native language, as well as the English language.

I challenge you to develop your capacity for clear, concise, and cogent communication. Doing so will empower you with the authority and influence that follows all those who have superior command of the language in which they communicate.

Eighty years ago, two of the world’s preeminent authorities on speech—Charles H. Woolbert and Joseph F. Smith—wrote eloquently of the importance of speech. Their words are as important today as they were in the 1930s. I have taken the liberty to reproduce their quote here with slight variations that make it applicable to all mediums of expression.

"The one ability which grants to man preeminent superiority over all other animal creation is his ability to talk and write. … Communication is desperately fundamental to our civilization. So integral a part of civilization is it, that it has too largely been taken for granted by the people at large. We are strange that way. Things close to us we often neglect. The spoken and written word is so vital a thing that when it fails to convey its message the loss is great enough to cause distress. Consequently, in the presence of the mumbler, the droner, and the mouther of words, men are disappointed and pained. Bankruptcy in speech or script is a solemn affliction because language is the crowning achievement of the human mind and the very cementing principle of civilization. Our value as members of society is judged in large measure according as our language meets with the approval or condemnation of those who hear or read it." [2]

Language is both sacred and powerful. It is never too late to learn, improve upon, or simply brush up on a science and art that is absolutely indispensable to your short and long-term success—no matter what your life station or profession.

Footnotes:
[1] Donne’s actual quote reads: “No Man is an Island, entire of itself, every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away from the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a Promontory were, as well as if a Manor of thy friends, or of thine own were; Any Mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.” Booty, J. (1990). John Donne: Selections From Divine Poems, Sermons, Devotions, and Prayers. New York, NY: Paulist Press. Page 58.


[2] Woolbert, C.H., & Smith, J.F. (1934). The Fundamentals of Speech: A Textbook of Delivery. New York, NY: Harper & Brothers Publishers. Pages 3-6. Andrew T. Weaver, former Head of the Speech Department at the University of Wisconsin wrote: “Joseph F. Smith … [is] one of the outstanding leaders of our profession. He is an inspiring lecturer and a powerful interpreter of literature. W. Norwood Brigance, former Head of Speech at Wabash College said of Smith: “Joseph F. Smith is one of the half dozen top-flight readers in all America. A few may equal him, but none surpass him.” In the highest and finest sense of the term, he is an artist.”