SAL Book: Emancipation through Self-Action Leadership

Self-Action Leadership is an emancipator. It is the key that can release you from the ten shackles described in the previous chapter.

This chapter introduces a real-life story to illustrate the extent of SAL’s capacity to liberate you from whatever shackles are presently binding you down either personally or professionally. This story is not about fame, fortune, fabulously good luck, or overnight success, yet it is a success story. This story is about an imperfect, common human being who accomplished uncommon things through the conscious exercise of diligent, disciplined, and dedicated SAL over a period of nearly three decades.
This is the story of a man in his mid-thirties. He was born in 1979 in a tiny, rural, farming and ranching community in the Four Corners area of the western United States. This man’s beginnings were marked by many of the commonalities of life in middle-class America, and that is where the story begins its twists and turns. Since 1979, he has visited 49 of 50 U.S. States, eight Canadian Provinces, and several foreign countries. He has lived at 41 different addresses in five different time zones. His life has been full of variety, adventure, challenge, opportunity, personal growth, failure, and success.

In his life, this man has learned to effectively manage clinical obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and depression after suffering for two decades from their insidious symptoms. He earned a Doctoral degree with a 4.0 grade-point average after scoring a 3.2 GPA in college, a lackluster 2.9 GPA in high school, getting rejected by the University he applied to, and taking Algebra 1 three years in a row.

This man convinced an intelligent, talented, and attractive young woman to marry him after a horrible string of romantic failures influenced by his OCD-related social awkwardness. He was a 24-year old college graduate before getting his first girlfriend or kiss, but now he is happily married to a woman he describes as “better than the woman of his dreams.” This man is now the father of two healthy, happy children (a son and a daughter) who are the joy of his days.

This man and his wife have gone from being $80,000 in debt in 2008 to being completely debt-free, paying cash for his graduate education, enjoying a comfortable lifestyle, and establishing a growing nest egg for the future.

After being placed in the average reading group in first grade and being frightened to speak in public, this man has since published four books and spoken publicly to 20,000 people throughout North America and the United Kingdom. This man, who once desperately needed help with his own Self-Action Leadership, has since helped thousands of people with theirs all over the English-speaking world.

If you have not already guessed it, this is the story of my own life; it is the story of how SAL transformed my life and my character. I do not share these things to impress you, or to brag. I share them to impress upon you my deep personal conviction—born of 27 years of real life experience and deep personal study and observation—of the power of the principles championed in this book. SAL works—my own life is testament to the fact.

I am no better than you are. There is nothing special about me. But everything is special about SAL principles, which will beget goodness and success in your life and career if you are willing to learn them, believe in them, and live by them. For this to occur, you must both want, and be willing to, change—just as I did.

"For things to change, you must change."
– Jim Rohn
(1930-2009)

 

The reason my story turned out the way it has is not because other people, things, or external circumstances changed, or because I got lucky. Many people waste much of their lives waiting around for circumstances, luck, and other people to change; I know because for many years, I was one of them.

Do you live your life among this vast multitude that lounges on the beaches of life waiting for your ship to come in? I’ve been guilty of frequenting this crowd. I’ve also thrown my share of pity-parties over the years. Often convinced my problems were a result of circumstances or the people around me, I eagerly embraced opportunities I had to physically move so my life could improve. Naively hoping a change in my outer surroundings would improve my internal experiences and magically make me happy led me to feel predictably and perpetually disappointed. Over time, I discovered the great truth that no matter where I was, or who and what was around me, nothing would ever really change until I changed—and that is when the magic—and hard work—began.

“What you become inwardly changes your outer reality.”
– Plutarch & Otto Rank

Once I began to change myself, my circumstances began to improve as well. The harder I worked on myself, the more pleasant, prosperous, and desirable my circumstances became. It took enormous amounts of time and effort, but it was all worth it. Over time, I learned—not merely through principle, but through actual experience—that other people, things, and circumstances do not determine my destiny. For better or for worse, I determine my own destiny—today, tomorrow, and always.

SAL IS A LIGHT

Life is filled with problems. No one gets out of life without facing significant adversity. If you think someone doesn’t have problems, you just don’t know them very well. Personal problems and challenges come in many different sizes and packaging. Something that is easy for you may be excruciatingly difficult for me, and vice versa.

In writing this book, I do not presume to understand the substance and depth of the personal and professional problems you face. Nor do I claim to have the answers to solve them. What I do know is that you can eventually find specific answers to your individual problems if you are willing to submit your will to the general laws of Self-Action Leadership.

SAL is not a bandage for covering up your problems; nor is it a mystical elixir to make them magically disappear. SAL is merely a light. I say mere, but there is nothing weak or small about light. For light—if you are willing to open your eyes to, and utilize its penetrating guidance—has the power not only to uncover what your problems really are, it can also illuminate the correct pathways to solving them.

If you are trying to hide from your problems or veil them from others, then light, of course, seems a terrible nuisance whose blinding effects will be quite painful. But if you seek to know what your problems really are, and possess a real intent to solve them, light is a great liberator; indeed, it is the only liberator. I should warn you, however, that light can initially be painful whether you seek it out or not.

In life, everyone is exposed to varying intensities of this metaphorical light. And in the end, there are really only two kinds of people in the world—those who hold on to their blindfolds to ease the pain, and those who cast away their blindfold to face the pain. Those who keep their blindfolds feel less pain in the short run. Those who discard their blindfold feel less pain in the long run. If you are willing to persist in seeing light, your initial pain will be swallowed up in lasting pleasure and peace. What kind of person do you want to be?

Light is useless for hiding and pretending. It’s only functionality is for seeing and doing and going. What do want in your life? Do you seek to hide and pretend and cover-up, or do you yearn to see, and do, and go and become? If you desire the latter, this book will be quite helpful to you. If you desire the former, read no further.

Consider an additional caveat about light. While light can illuminate the pathway you should take, it cannot travel it for you. Do not, therefore, expect a nicely paved, divided highway all the way to the top of your personal mountain. Real solutions do await you at the mountaintops of real problem solving; but be ready to face bumps, steep grades, hot (or cold) weather, and no shortage of obstacles along the way. Light doesn’t remove obstacles from your path; it merely helps you see them better.


Next Blog Post: Wednesday, December 17, 2014, Chapter 14: The Challenge & Quest to Become

SAL Book: Ask Not

Self-Action Leadership is about taking action to lead yourself. Ironically, however, it is not ultimately about YOU. SAL is much bigger than the individual. Self-aggrandizement is not the goal of SAL, nor is self-improvement its endgame. While Existential Growth is vitally important, it is merely a means to accomplishing SAL’s real end, which is to serve other people.

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others.’”

– Martin Luther King, Jr.

(1929 - 1968)

The more you personally learn and grow, the more you will be able to contribute meaningfully to your family, school, business, community, state, nation, and world.

THE QUEST FOR NATIONAL EXCELLENCE & UNITY: REANIMATING THE AMERICAN DREAM

I have always been inspired by the Olympic Games, especially the Summer Olympics. My earliest Olympic memory was watching Mary Lou Retton win a gymnastics gold medal in the 1984 Summer Games in Los Angeles. I was just shy of my fifth birthday, but I can still recall her famous performance on the vault, and the All-American smile that followed her perfect landing.

Watching subsequent Olympics further fueled my passion for competitive sport, goal setting, and the quest for national excellence and unity. To this day, there is nothing quite like watching an American athlete stand atop the first-place medal stand, receive his or her gold medal and flowers, and then hear the regal refrains of the Star-Spangled Banner reverberate gloriously as the athlete sings the stirring lyrics of Francis Scott Key’s inspired anthem. As a boy, I often envisioned myself someday standing atop the winner’s podium to receive a gold medal and sing patriotically before a worldwide audience.

The closest I ever came to competing in the Olympics was racing in the 1500-meters final at the 2003 Junior College National Championships in Levelland, Texas. I took second-to-last place in the race, but just to have qualified for that elite field was an honor and thrill I will always cherish. Though my natural talent never rose to the Olympic standard, I relished each chance I got to place my hand over my heart and sing the national anthem prior to an athletic competition in which I played or raced. Olympic champion or not, I was always proud to be an American athlete who strived to honor my country through personal excellence.

There is value and power in patriotism because it allows individuals to dedicate themselves to a cause greater than themselves. As an American, I hope you will choose to take pride in your citizenship, if for no other reason than the hope of making your country a better place through the exercise of your own Self-Action Leadership. Good-faith displays of citizen patriotism can be an honorable means of developing and then celebrating noble character and high achievement. 

As important as individualism is to Americans, our strength is also rooted in our collectivity. Unfortunately, a growing lack of unity is paralleling America’s present decline. Like Greece, Rome, Spain, France, Germany, Britain, and the Soviet Union before her, our land has begun to fall prey to humanity’s perpetual propensity for moral entropy, and the political, military, and cultural enfeeblement that inevitably follows.

This is sad because it doesn’t have to be the case. Our moral, educational, political, military, and cultural deterioration are not the results of external foes; they are the natural consequences of a collective character crisis. If the United States is ever conquered, it will not be from an external foe. It will result from an internal spoilage. Abraham Lincoln, who presciently spoke the following words more than two decades before the onset of the Civil War, understood this:

"At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it? – Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! – All the armies of Europe, Asia and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the Earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a Bonaparte for a commander, could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years. At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide."[1]

MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE NATION I LOVE

I have great respect for the United States military, including all the volunteers who serve or have served the Stars and Stripes in uniform. As a professional seminar facilitator, I have had the honor of training soldiers and civilians in all five branches of the U.S. Military (Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard). It is always a privilege to work with these fine men and women, who dedicate their careers—and sometimes their safety and lives—to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States of America, and the values and virtues that undergird our nation's greatness.

I greatly admire the tremendous contributions made by U.S. servicemen and women throughout history. Some of my own ancestors and relatives have served in uniform, and in several cases seen combat in past conflicts. My fifth great-grandfather served in General George Washington’s Continental Army during our Nation’s founding conflict, the American Revolution. During World War II, my grandfather – an army radioman – landed on Utah Beach following the Allies’ D-Day attack. My own Dad was two years old before he met his father in late 1945, following his honorable discharge from the Army following V-E Day. One of my uncles flew helicopters in Vietnam, and another is a former F-15 Eagle fighter pilot and retired Lieutenant Colonel in the U.S. Air Force. My cousin, a former dentist in the Army, served in Iraq, and one of my best friends (also a dentist) served in the Air Force. On two separate occasions, I considered serving myself. The first time I investigated the opportunity, I learned I was ineligible because I was taking medication to treat OCD and depression—a categorical disqualifier of any applicant at the time. The second time, when I was no longer on medication, another professional opportunity replaced any would-be military consideration.

Although I have never had a chance to serve my country in uniform, I have always been eager to know what I could do to serve out of uniform. This desire is fueled not only by my admiration for those who have served, or are serving, but by my recognition of the tremendous liberties and endless blessings I enjoy as a result of my U.S. Citizenship. America has done so much for me. The real question is: what have I done for America?

In 1961, in his Inauguration Address, President John F. Kennedy uttered the now immortal words:

“My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”

Since I first learned about my remarkable heritage as an American, I have been asking myself this question. One of my goals in writing this book is to give something back to the country that has done so much for me. This nation has made it possible for me to have dreams, pursue them freely, and eventually accomplish them.

It is payback time.

While this book may be a paltry contribution compared with others who have dedicated entire careers—or even their lives—to the defense and betterment of the USA, a literary contribution is something I can do; therefore, it is what I will do. In writing this book, I have – to the best of my ability – attempted to articulate and explain the principles and practices I know can reanimate the American Dream for anyone willing to learn and apply them.

The American Dream has become a reality for my wife and me, and it can become a reality for you, your children, and your children’s children. But remember that the American Dream is just that—a dream—unless you are willing to learn about it and then seek after it with all you’ve got. It will not simply walk up and knock on your door. Prosperity is not a right guaranteed by citizenship; it is a privilege earned through Self-Action Leadership. Therefore, in the end, it doesn’t really matter who your parents are or aren’t, or how much money, opportunity, or love they did or didn’t bequeath to you. The true American Dream is no respecter of persons. It is available to all; but it must be chased with energy and ambition if it is to be caught and realized.

Are you up to, and ready for, the chase? If so, READ ON…


[1] Excerpt from Lincoln’s speech entitled, The Perpetuation of Our Political Institutions, given at the Young Men’s Lyceum of Springfield, Illinois; January 27, 1838.  For a full transcript of the speech, visit URL: http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/lyceum.htm

Finding Freedom in INTRApersonal Competition

In last week's post, I discussed the importance of focusing primarily on intrapersonal competition (competing against yourself) rather than interpersonal competition (competing against others) in goal setting.  This is an important aspect of setting SMARTIES Goals.  Today, I share my story that influenced me to change my own viewpoint of competition.

Growing up, I was a very competitive kid.  My passions were running and basketball.

My goal was usually to beat anyone I was competing against.  This objective held up pretty well as a kid. I was always one of the first ones chosen on playground teams growing up, where it was not unusual for me to be "leading the pack."  In the process, I found enormous satisfaction from "beating others" in interpersonal competitions.

As a sophmore, I finished fourth at the Utah State cross-country meet.  For my Junior year, I set a goal to be the 2A State Champion.  I wrote down my goal and displayed it in a prominent place in my bedroom.

That season, I worked hard.  I continually envisioned myself crossing the finish line before anyone else.  My focus and hard work paid off, and I accomplished my goal of becoming a State Champion.

But then something interesting happened: I got greedy.  I really liked the color and appearance of the bright, gold, first-place medal, and I wanted more and more of it.  The following spring, I set my sights on more gold.  This time, I would win all four of my events so I could get FOUR gold medals.

Long story short, I fell short of my track goal.  Instead of four first place finishes at state, I finished with two seconds, a third, and a fourth: zero gold!

I was very disappointed.  For many years after that, I viewed my senior track season as being largely a failure because I did not win any of my events.  This perspective was unfortunate -- and naive.  Why?  Because I had run personal best times in all three distances during the State Meet.  It was the best I had ever done before.  Regardless of my finish compared to others, I should have been very pleased with my performances. I had not yet learned my lesson in intrapersonal competition yet.   

Several years later, after I had completed my 2-year mission, I was again running competitively, this time in college.  College was different than high school. Instead of winning multiple races and being one of the best runners, I rarely won.

Despite my lack of victories, I began noticing something in my performance that was enormously satisfying to me.  The three best races of my life were all run in college, and I did not win any of them.  What made them my best races? First, I ran a personal best time in each one.  Second, I knew in my mind and heart that I had given a complete effort; I had left it all on the track.  I may not have been winning races anymore, but I was getting better, and somehow, that was just as sweet, if not sweeter, than beating others.  

The heightened level of competition in college taught me the great truth that there will almost always be someone out there who is bigger, faster, stronger, smarter, wealthier, and more talented than me, and that is okay!  In this world of over 7 billion people, no one else is exactly like me.  No one else has the same genetics, circumstances, and experiences I do.

This fact makes me at least one in 7 billion, and the same is true for YOU!

This does not mean that competing against others does not have its place, or that you shouldn't try to be better than your competition.  What it means is that competition with others should always be secondary to competition with yourself.  If you focus first on being your best, then your place among others will take care of itself.  If, on the other hand, you become too focused on beating others, you will waste time and energy that could be invested in bettering your own performance.

In our culture, we are conditioned for competition with others.  Media is littered with advertisements that implicitly pit you against the beauty, intelligence, and supposed sophistication of others.  You can't watch television without coming across all kinds of competition programming.  From sports and gameshows to reality shows like Survivor and the Bachelor, there is no shortage of high profile interpersonal competition available just a remote-click away.  This makes it extra challenging to focus your time and energy on intrapersonal competition.

To make matters worse, we often exacerbate these comparisons by pitting our biggest weaknesses against the greatest strengths of others, which is terribly unfair.  In the end, your whole perspective gets knocked askew of reality, and you are left feeling unmotivated and discouraged.

By focusing primarily on being your own best self, you not only increase the likelihood of turning in your own, best performance, but you also maximize your chances for success when you compete with others.  It is a win/win!

Points to Ponder...

In what ways do you waste time and energy worrying about how you compare with others?

What could you do to reinvest this same time and energy in producing your personal best?