Case Study: The Essence of Inner Greatness on Display at Graduation

It is that time of year again... GRADUATION! Congratulations are therefore in order to graduates everywhere.

In the spirit of this festive academic season of the year, I wish to reprint a letter written by my older brother Joe--a talented writer--to his family that captures the essence of inner greatness, and how it was elegantly displayed by his academically gifted son Ashton at his recent graduation in Orem, Utah.


As the Salutatorian of his class, Ashton recently spoke to a gathering of nearly 9,000 people at Utah Valley University's basketball arena (The UCCU Center) as part of the 2015 American Fork High School graduation ceremony. Ashton is a National Merit Scholar with a better-than-perfect GPA.  He scored a 35 out of 36 on his college-entrance exam (ACT) and will be attending Brigham Young University in the fall on a full-ride academic scholarship. He is considering majoring in either physics or engineering.

My readers should know that neither Joe nor Ashton did what he did, or wrote what he wrote, with any intention of garnering extra attention for their deeds; the spotlighting is all my doing.  Such authenticity on the part of Joe and Ashton is precisely why the story deserves attention, and why I took the liberty to reprint it here today--with Joe's permission.

The Essence of Inner Greatness on Display at Graduation

By: Joe Jensen

The weather here in Northern Utah this May has been reminiscent of when Ashton was born 18 years ago. His birthday was Sunday, and it has felt more like Seattle than Salt Lake. After the driest/warmest winter on record it has been one of the wettest/coolest May’s ever. It really is perplexing to me that it has already been 18 years since Julie rolled out of bed, breaking her water and setting in motion our life as a family. It is also hard to believe that Ashton is on the verge of leaving home. I feel sorry for parents who look forward to their children leaving home, because we truly are mourning his imminent departure.

I got up early on the 28th because I’m a little slower these days having undergone back surgery only a week ago. I got on my suit, and when I went to put on my socks, I found that the only pair I had that would really work with my suit were the same socks I wore the day I got married nearly 20 years ago. Why do I include this detail? I don’t know—maybe deep down I really am a sentimental guy that makes those kinds of connections. As I thought more about it, I realized that anyone reading this would see right past any sentimentality and realize I am one seriously cheap tightwad with traces of hoarding in my personality. Who even owns the same pair of socks for 20 years? No wonder Matt makes fun of me for my holey socks at every family get together. Too much information.

Anyway, the other detail about this that probably has you stumped is the fact that I put on a suit. I knew I must have been on fairly heavy pain meds when my wife Julie asked me why I was wearing a suit? The last time I wore a suit that didn’t require it (by the event or by Julie) is exactly never. Blame it on the drugs, or maybe it is that sentimentality kicking in again. All I know is that Julie’s reaction almost made it worth it. I can’t ever think of a time when she asked me why I was overdressed. Maybe it’s just a month of firsts—first child graduating, first back surgery, first time Joe ever overdressed.... Anyway, ultimately for me it was my way of honoring what Ashton has done and accomplished over the last 18 years.

After I was dressed, I got all the kids up for scriptures and breakfast. Julie and Ashton had to go to Utah Valley University (UVU) about an hour before the rest of us, so I was helping with breakfast with all the kids while Julie was still upstairs getting ready. It seemed uneventful enough, until I tuned in to AnneMerie and Ashton’s breakfast conversation. It went something like this:

AnneMerie asked, “So, Ashton, what is the deal with silver or gold cords at graduation?”

Ashton replied, “You basically pay money to hang something around your neck to show everybody else that you are pretty smart (silver cords) or really smart” (Gold Cords).

AnneMerie inquired further, “McKenna said you weren’t going to buy them. Did you?”

“No. She thinks I will regret not having them for graduation. I bet her a dollar that I wouldn’t regret not buying them.”

My first thought was, “does his mother realize he doesn’t have a pair of gold cords?“ My second thought was, “it is very good Julie is not down here at breakfast hearing this.” My third thought was, “Ashton’s mother is going to kill him.” My fourth thought, on the edge of panic and irrational fear was, “is there a way we can keep his mother from seeing him at graduation?” My rational mind quickly realized that she would realize it at some point and hiding it from her was not realistic. So then my thoughts quickly questioned, “Is there any way I can be blamed for Ashton not having gold cords?” I didn’t think I could, but I knew somebody was going to be in trouble over this.

At this point, all the kids had tuned into the conversation, and I obviously was hyper focused on the rest of the discussion:

“Well, are you going to regret it?” AnneMerie asked.

“Why would I regret it?” Ashton replied.

“Wouldn’t you want people to know you were in the smartest group of kids in your class?”

“All my friends already know, and why would I care if anyone else looked at me and thought I’m not smart because I don’t have a gold cord around my neck? Besides, now I’ll earn a dollar off my bet with McKenna,” Ashton explained.

I still hadn’t said anything, too afraid Julie might implicate me somehow in this plot to overthrow the pomp and circumstance of the 2015 AFHS graduation. But, I couldn’t help but notice the impact this conversation was having on AnneMerie. I could see the wheels turning in her head at this point. I also realized that what Ashton was teaching her in this moment was more powerful than any discussion I could ever have with her on this topic as a parent largely because of Ashton’s proximity in age and her admiration of him.

Ashton went on to say that wearing a gold cord -- or not -- was not going to change who he was or anything he had learned, and that wearing it was a bit artificial. I realized at this point I might be implicated because I had said something similar a few weeks earlier. We all knew Ashton had a good chance of being the Valedictorian. However, the evening of the senior honors night at AFHS I had a similar conversation with Ashton before we went to the announcement. I purposely did it in front of the other kids. I told him, “it would be a nice honor to get, but remember that whether you are valedictorian, salutatorian, or neither will not change what you have become. Having the piece of paper on your wall, or in a storage box somewhere will not change one bit what you have learned and become in the last 18 years. And, what you have become is way more important than the external validation that any of these honors carry.” I also emphasized that while his academic achievements are about as amazing as anyone anywhere, his mother and I appreciated even more other attributes he has developed, such as how kind and patient he is to his five younger siblings.”

As the conversation wound down, I’m not going to lie—I was still pretty concerned how this was all going to play out with his mom. I still hadn’t said anything, but at this point, Ashton had convinced me that it really was an external trapping that didn’t matter. Part of me wanted him to wear it because it is an honor, and he had earned it, but as this conversation finished up, I realized he was right. I added, “I suppose this really isn’t so different from Dr. Seuss’s book about Sneeches. Do we really need to get a star belly to show everyone else that we are better somehow? And, in this case, do we need two types of stars so that some can feel better than being a plain bellied Sneech, while still feeling bad they didn’t have gold stars on their bellies?” We all cogitated on this while we finished munching our breakfast.

Anyway, we all made it to the graduation in plenty of time, which was a small miracle. The procession started, and graduates filed in. The girls sat on our side, and the boys all sat on the opposite side. I couldn’t help but think, "maybe Julie won’t notice he is not wearing anything because he was so far away."  Plus, I thought, she often misses fairly obvious visual things, like the time she didn’t notice the 2’ x 3’ painting I hung in the most obvious place in our house on her birthday about 15 years ago. Ashton entered the arena as far away as he could have from where we were sitting. By the time he got halfway to his seat, Julie exclaimed, “Did he not order his cords?”

I looked a bit sheepish, knowing what I knew, yet not having a clue how to break it to her.

“Nope,” I offered lamely. “But I wish you could have heard the conversation Ashton had with AnneMerie at breakfast about why he didn’t order one.” She didn’t say anything about the missing Red and Gold Salutatorian medal and the other garb that all the other people on the stand were wearing, but I wasn’t about to bring that up at this juncture.

It didn’t immediately seem to assuage her feelings about the missing cords, but somehow, in my drug induced state I explained the best I could, while melody of pomp and circumstance played, what had transpired at breakfast and that I actually think what he did was honorable, especially because it truly was not meant as any big political statement—rather it was just Ashton truly being Ashton. By the time all the graduates were in the arena and everyone sat down, she didn’t seem to be too worried about it. My only thoughts at this point were, “this is either a graduation miracle, or I’m really good at explaining stuff to my wife, or, these drugs really are effective.”

Nevertheless, the ceremony was excellent. Ashton’s Salutatorian's speech was both meaningful and well delivered. In talking to him later he did admit it was quite a rush to speak to a crowd that big. The UCCU Center was mostly full. (I’m guessing around 8,000-9,000 people.)

One final note about the missing swag around Ashton’s neck—no one else seemed to think much about it. At least no one mentioned anything about it—except the two women Julie admires most in our ward. They commented to her later in the day that they were blown away at what an amazing kid Ashton is, and that they noticed only because they knew Ashton could be the most decorated kid at the graduation, yet they were so impressed that he didn’t feel the need to do it. They also commented that they knew he wasn’t doing it to prove anything or make a statement—it was just who he is. Julie looked a bit sheepish at this point, and admitted to them that we are all learning from Ashton.

...............

I want to thank Ashton for his mature perspective and example of modesty.  Such qualities exemplify in part what it means to be an authentic self-action leader.  SAL, after all, is more about becoming than it is about merely achieving or getting.  Moreover, it is demonstrated not by appearances and accoutrements, but authenticity and integrity.  In the eloquent words of the poet Alice Cary:


Nobility

True worth is in being, not seeming,—
   In doing each day that goes by
Some little good –– not in the dreaming
   Of great things to do by and by.
For whatever men say in blindness,
   And spite of the fancies of youth,
There’s nothing so kingly and kindness,
   And nothing so royal as truth.

We get back our mete as we measure —
   We cannot do wrong and feel right,
Nor can we give pain and gain pleasure,
   For justice avenges each slight.
The air for the wing of the sparrow,
   The bush for the robin and wren,
But alway[s] the path that is narrow
   And straight, for the children of men.

’Tis not in the pages of story
   The heart of its ills to beguile,
Though he who makes courtship to glory
   Gives all that he hath for her smile.
For when from her heights he has won her,
   Alas! it is only to prove
That nothing’s so sacred as honor,
   And nothing so loyal as love!

We cannot make bargains for blisses,
   Nor catch them like fishes in nets;
And sometimes the thing our life misses,
   Helps more than the thing which it gets.
For good lieth not in pursuing,
   Nor gaining of great nor of small,
But just in the doing, and doing
   As we would be done by, is all.
Through envy, through malice, through hating,
   Against the world, early and late,
No jot of our courage abating —
   Our part is to work and to wait.
And slight is the sting of his trouble
   Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
   Whatever his fortunes or birth. [1]

– Alice Cary
(1820-1871)

---

[1] Reprinted from Ames, M.C., Ed. (1874). The Last Poems of Alice and Phoebe Cary. New York, NY: Hurd and Houghton. Pages 72-73.

SAL Case Study: A First Generation American Goes to West Point, the Story of Pete Frometa

Pete Frometa is a Hispanic American. Two years before he was born, his parents moved to the United States from the Dominican Republic. They settled in uptown Manhattan, not far from Spanish Harlem.

Pete was raised in a tough neighborhood where many of his peers -- with whom he often spent time playing basketball and fraternizing with after school -- got mixed up with sex, drugs, alcohol, and gangs. Fortunately, Pete had two parents who understood the importance of education, and were willing to make whatever financial sacrifices necessary to send him to a private school in a better area. Pete worked hard in school to earn academic success.

When Pete was in high school, his parents moved back to the Dominican Republic. During his time at private school, Pete became involved in choir where he had become acquainted with an upper-middle class couple living in Queens, New York. When they heard his parents were returning to their homeland, they offered to take Pete into their home so he could complete high school in the United States. Desiring the best possible future for their son, Pete’s parents acquiesced to the offer made by the generous couple.

Pete’s hard work garnered him a Congressional recommendation to attend the United States Military Academy. After graduating from West Point, he received an officer’s commission in the United States Army. He was assigned to the Third Infantry Division and deployed twice to Baghdad, Iraq before resigning his commission to work in the private sector. He is now employed by a Fortune 100 Company and currently makes a six-figure salary. He has since gotten married and has five children. He and his family have also been stationed abroad in Canada with his company.

Impressed and amazed at Pete's remarkable journey, I was curious about how Pete managed to rise above the challenges he faced in his community. Below are some specific answers to questions I asked in interviewing Pete about his Self-Action Leadership journey.

Question: Specifically, what did you think about, say, and do as self-leader growing up to accomplish the goals you set out for yourself?

Answer: Growing up in uptown Manhattan, I grew up around people who didn’t make anything of their lives and I didn’t want to end up like them. For instance, I noticed a lot of people struggling or committing crimes just to get by. I knew that a good education and working hard at school would be something I could do right then to make something of myself and earn a better future.


Question: What do you see as being the most important single variable (or variables) that contributed to successes you have achieved in your education, profession, or life.

Answer: The most important variables were dedication, discipline, and the drive to succeed. Initially it started off as a desire to please my parents and teachers, but later in life, that dedication had an entirely new purpose. I learned early on that hard work and dedication equaled success. This pertained to getting better grades, reaching goals, and receiving awards of recognition.


Question: What do you think is the most important thing that an individual can do to compensate for existing structural inequalities in their communities/lives?

Answer: I think the most important thing that an individual can do is to not accept the way things are and to always challenge the system. If you don’t try to challenge the existing structural inequalities, how will you know how far you can get, or what success you can gain without wholeheartedly trying? Otherwise it is not the system defeating you, but instead it is you defeating yourself.


Question: What do you think is the most important thing that “powers-that-be” (politicians, etc.) can do to erode current inequities existing in societal structures?

Answer: The ‘powers-that-be’ need to always invest in our educational system. Education breaks down societal and economic barriers and opens doors of opportunity.

SAL Case Study: Felicia's Story: The Unabridged Version

From South Side to Six Figures

Felicia is an African American female in her mid-30s. She lives in a major U.S. city where she works as an operations engineer. Previously, she worked for a Fortune 100 Company, where she commanded a six-figure salary. She was not always so successful or fortunate.

Baby Felicia
in the early 1980s

Felicia’s life is dramatically different now than when she was growing up—and not because she got lucky or had everything going for her when she started off in life. Her life is different, and better, today because of her effective practice of Self-Action Leadership (SAL) over long periods of time. If she wanted to, she could have found plenty of disadvantages to complain about. Instead, she chose to be proactive and focus on what she could control. The results have been inspiring to say the least.

Felicia was born and raised on Chicago’s South Side, which infamously ranks among the most dangerous areas in the United States.

Felicia spent the first 18 years of her life in a small house with her parents and two siblings (an older sister and younger brother). She grew up in one of the worst neighborhoods in Chicago. Her first elementary school was located right in between two project buildings. Nevertheless, Felicia began exercising SAL at a young age, and her actions planted seeds of success that would eventually grow into educational successes.

Teenage Felicia in the 1990s.

She worked hard in school, and graduated from 8th grade as her school’s valedictorian. From there, she started applying to high schools. Because she had good grades, she was able to attend magnet or charter schools, and thereby avoid the rougher public high schools near her house (which, in her words, “were usually really bad high schools”).

Her grades and test scores eventually won her admittance to the prestigious Whitney M.Young High School, which, according to Felicia, “is the best public high school in Chicago.” In high school, she ran cross-country and track all four years. At age 15, she also began working at a variety of jobs, including at her dad’s restaurant, to earn her own money.

During her senior year she became interested in computer programming, and wrote a report on a piece of equipment used in World War II that piqued her interest in the military. She tried to get a full tuition scholarship through the ROTC program at Purdue University in Indiana. Though unsuccessful, her diligent efforts enabled her to procure a few smaller scholarships. At Purdue, she studied electrical engineering technology. With the exception of the few smaller scholarships she received, she paid for the rest of her schooling herself through student loans and by working a part-time job.

In the Navy.       

Before she was accepted into Purdue, Felicia set her sights high by considering applying to the prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), the California Institute of Technology (Cal-Tech), and Georgia Institute of Technology (Georgia Tech). She explains playfully that her top two priorities in picking a college were first, a quality engineering program, and second, “football.” According to Felicia, the second criterion eliminated MIT and Cal-Tech, so she applied to ACC and Big-10 icons Georgia Tech and Purdue.

At Purdue, she played rugby, worked at a cafeteria all four years, and graduated after four-and-a-half years with a degree in engineering. After receiving a commission in the U.S. Navy, she was posted to bases around the world, including the United Arab Emirates, Australia, Egypt, and Canada. She also spent time on naval ships in the Pacific and Indian oceans as well as the Mediterranean Sea.

At work for a Fortune 100 Company.

After serving her country, Felicia was hired to work for a Fortune 100 Company in a major U.S. metropolitan area. She also lived in Japan for two years as part of a job transfer. She presently lives and works in Austin, Texas.

Felicia attributes her success to working hard and staying focused as a student. Her academic performance empowered her to transcend the rougher schools of her neighborhood to earn a spot in the academically superior magnet schools. According to Felicia, “anyone can go to the magnet schools if they have good enough grades.” SAL empowered Felicia to earn the grades required to go to better schools.

While her middle school had a small Hispanic population, it was not until high school that Felicia was able experience a student body with a significant degree of diversity. Moreover, growing up on Chicago’s South Side gave her opportunities to witness the structural inequalities that existed between different schools and communities in the Chicago area.

"Chicago is very segregated. The South Side of Chicago is about 95% African American. When I was in middle school, I competed in a math game called “24.” This gave me an opportunity to see other schools. That is where I started seeing white students and other races, and in that interaction, I discovered that they had access to more and better resources. For example, they would have matching jerseys and clothes, and food that was provided by their school. You could also tell that they were more groomed than we were. We had practice, but that was all we had. There was no extra stuff.

"We had much better facilities at the magnet school, and parents were much more involved in their kids’ education. The main difference, however, between magnet school students and regular public school students isn’t a lack of intelligence, it’s a lack of focus and parental involvement. Other than that, there wasn’t a big difference in the demographics of the students at the magnet schools versus the regular public schools. There were a few students who you could tell weren’t from around the neighborhood, but most of us were local, and most of us were Black—just like at the regular public high schools."

Felicia did not having many close friends as a teenager, and attributes staying grounded to having a rich inner life.

"I pretty much kept to myself, and my family always made fun of me because I would talk to myself. Don't get me wrong; I was a very friendly person; I got along with people, I was never an outcast, but I just wasn’t into the typical teenage socializing scene—it just wasn’t for me. I’d talk to people and occasionally hang out, but I rarely went to parties. In fact, I can probably count on one hand how many parties I went to my entire life growing up."

Felicia attributes her unorthodox, intrapersonal social approach to helping her deal with adolescent temptations, and explains in detail the tremendous peer pressure faced by inner city youth in the African American community.

"Peer pressure is a big problem with inner city youth. Of course, it is likely a problem with all youth, but I think it’s more intense in the inner city because there is a lot of pressure to be “Black.” The Black stereotype is you don’t care about work, you don’t care about anything except clothes and the opposite sex, and these attitudes are perpetuated throughout the community, so if those things aren’t a high priority, people think there is something wrong with you. Worse still, if you don’t like those things you get talked about, and when I say talked about—I mean YOU GET TALKED ABOUT—you got reamed. You can’t talk about college, and you’re not supposed to like school. My peers would make fun of me for being smart, and they would call me “White girl” because I talked proper and I liked Seinfeld."

Felicia utilized SAL on many occasions to avoid growing angry or bitter at peers who would jab at her. And the more her peers sensed her inner confidence and sense of self, the more they left her alone.

"I didn’t get made fun of a lot because they could tell I wasn’t ashamed. My idea of what to do and what was right was mostly developed internally. I also wasn’t really involved with other people who were concerned with making sure I looked cute for the boys. I didn’t really hang out with people like that, which helped me avoid the peer pressure that so strongly pushed other people in my community to focus so much on clothing and image above education and inner security."

She also discovered that negative reinforcement doesn’t always come just from peer pressure. Sadly, parents can sometimes be part of the problem.

"One of the things I’ve seen hurt many people in the inner city is the pressure to not be successful. You would be surprised at how many parents will jab at their kids and say things like: “you’re never going to be anything, so why do you even try?” Tragically, that kind of stuff is said in a lot of households; there is a lot of negative reinforcement to not achieve goals. The aim is to maintain the status quo, which isn’t anything to brag about. My advice to everyone who faces that kind of pressure and negative reinforcement is to not let others bring you down. And believe me, they will try. Some people will even make it their goal in life to bring you down. Don’t let them do it!"

Developing inner security is an important element in SAL development. But where does it come from and how is it developed? Felicia’s actions give us a clue. To compensate for the lack of meaningful relationships with her peers, Felicia developed a friendship with herself. Stephen R. Covey corroborates the importance of self-worth:

"Intrinsic security … doesn’t come from what other people think of us or how they treat us. It doesn’t come from the scripts they’ve handed us. It doesn’t come from our circumstance or our position. It comes from within. It comes from accurate paradigms and correct principles deep in our own mind and heart. It comes from inside-out congruence, from living a life of integrity in which our daily habits reflect our deepest values." [1]

In Felicia’s own words:

"When you’re a kid, you want to play, so you seek other people to play with, and that’s how you develop friends, but when I wanted to play, I would just play with myself. I didn’t look to other people as much because I had myself. I realized over time that I didn’t really care much if other people thought I was cool or not. I discovered that I was perfectly okay with being alone, and that I am capable of being happy without doing things that other people say I should do." 

Humor can also be a valuable asset in SAL development. President George W. Bush has written, “I often use humor to defuse tension.” [2] Victor Frankl put it this way: “the attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living.” [3] Felicia used humor as a defense mechanism for bearing up under the scathing salvos of sophomoric peers.

"Rather than get angry or upset, I would just laugh at their mocking comments. It never really upset me because the things they would make fun of me for (e.g. being smart) didn’t bother me. I liked the fact that I was smart, so when people would call me names, I’d just smile about it and carry about my business."

Felicia doesn’t consider herself to be “religious,” but spirituality does play important role in her life. Moreover, as a self-action leader, she strives for self-awareness, and seeks to be in tune with her conscience.

"I’m not religious, but I am spiritual. You might say that my God is the same thing as my conscience. I can feel in my heart the difference between right and wrong, and I try to follow that inner compass. I also feel that I have a high level of self-awareness, so I know when I do wrong things, but I know when I do the right things; and I also know when I’m achieving things that make me happy. I know when I’m being myself, so that self-awareness keeps me from being taken into peer pressure because I know I don’t want to do things just to please other people or look good in their eyes. I really don’t care what someone I don’t want in my life happens to think about me. I also question things before I act. I conduct an immediate kind of subconscious evaluation of what I’m doing."

Growing up on Chicago’s South Side gave Felicia opportunities to understand the realities of structural inequality that often marked her communities when compared to more affluent communities in the north. As she got older, she became increasingly aware of the cultural segregation that exists in the Chicago metropolitan area.

"The first time I remember really noticing it was on the trains. The Red Line and the Green Line run to the South Side of Chicago, but the Brown Line doesn’t even come near the South Side; it runs pretty much from Downtown to the northern suburbs. So I always rode the Red and Green Line trains. One day, by mistake, I ended up on one of the Brown Line trains. It felt like I was in another world because it was brand new and impeccably clean. The Red and Green Line trains are filthy. They smell like pee, the seats are torn up, and graffiti is everywhere. But the Brown Line train looked and felt like the first class train. As I looked around, the metal was shiny—like chrome—and I just figured it must be a new train. Later on, I found out that this was how all the Brown Line trains were because the Brown Line went to the North side, where the White people live, and where the money is. It was definitely the White Train. Chicago is unofficially segregated. I can tell you what area you are in based on who gets off at which stop."

Felicia’s positive SAL worldview empowered her to invest energy on things she could control, rather than on things she could not. Instead of feeling victimized for whatever structural inequalities impeded her world, she confidently and courageously exercised her freedom to choose. As a result, she was able to rise above her circumstances to become very successful.

A natural self-action leader, Felicia is always seeking out insights about the way things really are in the world in an effort to reject victimization to become all she is capable of becoming.

"My friend and I were talking the other day and he made an interesting observation. He said that unsuccessful people tend to see freedom as being freedom from something. For example, some Black people view freedom as being primarily from slavery, an attitude that adversely affects them 150 years after slavery was abolished. Successful people, however, tend to view freedom as being for something, or freedom to do something. People often refer to freedom as being all about having less restrictions, so this person or this thing is no longer holding me down. But that really isn’t what freedom is about. Freedom isn’t about having less restrictions, it is about focusing my energy on what I can do, what I can accomplish, and what I can become. We are talking about two totally different outlooks on life, and there is a big difference between the two in terms of the personal results you are likely to get."

Felicia’s conversation with her friend was more than just a friendly exchange of simplistic ideas; it was the reaffirmation of powerful concepts iterated and affirmed by others, some of which have been published. For example, listen to the words of Haddon Klingberg, Jr., and Stephen R. Covey, respectively.

"Spirituality is in its essence self-transcendence, it brings with it human freedom. But it is not freedom from as much as freedom to. We are not free from our biological nature, whether instinctual drives, genetic legacies, or the functions and malfunctions of our brains and bodies. Nor are we free from the grasp of social, developmental, and environmental influences. But we are free to take a stand toward these, even against them. We are free to do what we will with the cards we are dealt, to choose what response we will make to fateful events, to decide what cause or persons will receive our devotion. And this freedom to carries an obligation to." [4]

Even if you live in horrible circumstances, it is in those circumstances that you will find your call to choose your own response. It is then that “life calls out to us” to serve those around us whose needs we become aware of; it is in so doing that we find our true “voice” in life. [5]

Passionate about her freedom to grow and succeed, Felicia has achieved much in her young life to date. How did she do it? One SAL strategy she has utilized involves mentally turning negative experiences into positive learning opportunities.

"I have been able to view almost all of the negative things I’ve experienced as an opportunity to grow. For instance, when I’ve met someone that I didn’t really like, someone who was a total ass hole, I think, “well, you know, he’s not a great guy, but now I’ve learned about him, and I’ve gained experience how to deal with that kind of person. Next time I meet someone like that I’ll be prepared.” Experiences make up life, and you can either make them ruin your life or help your life, so I just allow them all to help me in some way."

Although a big fan of “just walking away” from peer pressure, Felicia understood that on Chicago’s South side, it isn’t always that simple for everyone.

"In some cases, if you just walk away like I did, they’ll hurt you. Take gangs for instance. If someone proposes an opportunity for you to join a gang and you say “no,” you could be badly beaten or even killed. It can be difficult to walk away, but the good news is that you can claim a lot of personal power if you demonstrate belief and confidence in yourself. I credit my belief and confidence in myself with repelling those who might have otherwise pushed too hard. If those people had at least tried to get me caught up in the wrong things—especially when I was younger—I probably would have said “yes” to do whatever, but as I grew older and more confident, the way I felt about myself seemed to turn them off, and they ended up just leaving me alone. It sent the message to them that I wasn’t weak enough to infiltrate or trick."

Her statement about gangs roused my curiosity, so I asked her if she was ever approached to join a gang. Her response:

"The gangs weren’t that big with girls, but for me, they knew I was different, so gang members’ interest in having me around wasn’t that high. You know, I really can’t describe it, because it’s not like I was an outcast. I still hung out with some people who were either affiliated with gangs or in gangs themselves, but I just wasn’t that close to them, you know. We’d hang out at the park; we’d talk. For example, when I was 14, I technically had an 18-year old boyfriend, yet this boy never tried to do anything with me—never. And it wasn’t because I was literally saying no. He was definitely not a virgin, but he just seemed to sense something about me that communicated to him that I’m not that kind of person."

Felicia with her two kids.

To better confront the many challenges faced by inner city residents, Felicia believes leaders should focus on education initiatives, including after-school activities, which give young people something to focus on after school, which is the time of day when many students get themselves into the most trouble.

"In the schools, we need an increase in the availability and advertisement of after-school activities. Being on the track team is probably something that kept me out of a lot of trouble. I think they should start such opportunities in elementary school. That way, your children are in school; they go to the activity; they come home; and they go to sleep. They have no time to get in trouble. They have no time to be negatively influenced."

Felicia is a tremendous inspiration to me, and others who know her. She is one of the most pleasant and cheerful people I’ve ever met. She also has a remarkable force of character and sense of self. Her capacity for, and dedication to, self-action leadership has empowered her to achieve many impressive accomplishments. I greatly admire who she has become because of it. I hope that many people in the United States and throughout the world will likewise be inspired by her remarkable story and personal example.


Next Blog Post: Friday, February 20, 2015 ~ The Difficulty of Existential Growth


[1] Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. New York, NY: Fireside. Page 298.
[2] Bush, G.W. (2010). Decision Points. Crown: New York, NY. Page 35.
[3] Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man's Search for Meaning. Boston, MA: Beacon Press. Page 44.
[4] From Haddon Klingberg Jr.’s biography of Viktor and Elly Frankl: When Life Calls Out to Us, quoted in Covey, S. R. (2004). The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness. New York, NY: Free Press. Page 315.
[5] Covey, S. R. (2004). The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness. New York, NY: Free Press. Page 315.

SAL Case Study: The Joe Jensen Story

Read About a Real Educator 

Who is Making a REAL Difference

Politicians, pundits, and other persons of power love to talk about public education in America and point out its many pressing problems.  Sadly, for many, their main concerns with the "system" often involve structural inequality, lack of money, standardization, unionization, and a litany of other issues that have little to do with the heart of the matter--which involves helping the students themselves become good citizens that productively contribute to society.

Make no mistake, structural inequality, lack of resources, and other issues can present real challenges.  They are, however, not primary issues; they are secondary issues.  The root of most educational problems in America virtually always lies in a lack of knowledge, competence, character, and caring on the part of the educators themselves.

Even the most lavishly funded and structurally equitable schools will never realize their full potential if their leaders and teachers lack character--and an understanding of the fundamental principles that lead to long-term student success. 

Conversely, even the poorest funded and most structurally inequitable schools can achieve remarkable things if the teachers and administrators that lead them possess character & competence and really care about their students. 

Dr. David G. Anthony, CEO of Raise Your Hand Texas

In the words of Dr. David G. Anthony, CEO of Raise Your Hand Texas, and former Superintendent of the Cypress-Fairbanks Independent School District (among of 25 largest in the USA) in Houston, TX:

"I look at results that answer the question: how do we best serve kids? The simple goal of education is to make people better. We need to make adults better, and we must make students better. That’s the only goal I’ve ever really had."

Educators like Dr. Anthony are, in my experience, not a dime-a-dozen, and when you find them, they are worth their weight in gold.  I recently came across an article about just such an educator.  His name is Joe Jensen -- soon to be Dr. Joe Jensen -- the Principal of Orem Junior High School in Orem, Utah.

Principal Joe Jensen, who, aside from making big
waves in the world of education,  is also a husband,
the father of six, and an avid athlete who has
finished the elite Leadville 100 mountain
biking race an impressive 7-times.

Joe is one of the finest self-action leaders I have ever met.  His personal capacity, competence, and integrity as a leader and educator have initiated quantum changes at his school.  Even more impressive, his unprecedented accomplishments come at a Title 1 school.    

Freedom Focused exists to develop and promote leaders like Joe Jensen in the field of education and beyond.  If I have anything to say about it, his inspiring story will eventually touch all corners of this nation, which so desperately needs educators like Joe at the helm of our nation's public schools and districts.  I invite you to read his inspiring story and share with your personal network.

Click HERE to READ the Joe Jensen Story.

Next Blog Post: Tuesday, February 17, 2015  ~  The Unabridged Case Study of Felicia Cockrell

SAL Case Study: The Fred & Marlene Hawryluk Story

Quiet Self-Action Leadership from the Silent Generation

Part 2 

The Story of Fred & Marlene Hawryluk

I grew up in an age of unprecedented prosperity that was markedly different from the world my parents and grandparents inhabited (born 1943 & 1946 and 1899 & 1907 respectively). By the time I was born in the latter-end of the 1970s, the scarcity of the Depression and World War II eras—and to a certain extent the virtues they engendered—were becoming distant memories.

I was fortunate, however, to be close to persons who lived through those difficult times. Through their example, I was able to and observe some powerful lessons. In the memorable verse of Edgar A. Guest:

I’d rather see a sermon
Than hear one any day;
I’d rather one should walk with me
Than merely tell the way…

For I might misunderstand you
And the high advice you give,
But there’s no misunderstanding
How you act and how you live.

Once, as a young lad of 10 or 11, I went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant with my maternal grandmother, Ruth (1907-1992). I recall watching her take a single napkin from the dispenser, tear it in half, put one half in her purse for later use, and proceed to use only the other half throughout her entire meal. For a kid in the 1980s and 1990s, accustomed to taking as many napkins as I wished—and then inefficiently using and discarding them—I was surprised, and impressed, by this act. While I often heard my progenitors speak of leaner times, and their accompanying habits, practices, and mantras, they were never as real for me as they were for my parents and grandparents. Nevertheless, I always greatly respected family members and others born in the first half of the 20th century for the noble virtues they exemplified, and viewed their approval and praise as the consummate compliment of circumspect citizenship. While all generations have their faults, I recognized a deep well of wisdom within my predecessors from which I could receive upright moral instruction and glean life lessons. These models of modesty, fidelity, frugality, simplicity, and silent courage became my mentors, not because they forced their ideology on me, but because I admired them. I was motivated, therefore, to act in ways that would garner the approbation of my elders.

Fred, a part-time cobbler by trade, in his workshop (garage)

There is elegance in simplicity, and Fred and Marlene Hawryluk personify this statement better than anyone I’ve known. This chapter shares the common, yet compelling, story of their lives.

When I met the Hawryluks over a decade ago, they had been in their small and modest home for approximately 40 years. Despite its size, I have rarely—if ever—seen a home so clean and tidy, or one that possessed a more peaceful and pleasant atmosphere.

Fred’s father, John, immigrated to Canada from the Ukraine in 1912. At the time, 160-acre plots of free land were available to anyone willing to work it. But upon arriving, John was arrested. At the time, the United Kingdom (including Canada) was waging war against the Austro-Hungarian Empire, which encompassed present-day Ukraine. Fears of cultural and political subversion from disloyal sympathizers resulted in the arrests of many immigrants at the time, not all of which were justified. After his release, he returned to the same neighborhood he had tried to start a new life in and bought up all the land he could. He was not rich, but he was industrious, and had an eye for opportunity. He worked hard and avoided debt.

His son, Fred, grew up during the Great Depression. Fred went to school in a four-room schoolhouse that included two outhouses and a stable for the student’s horses.

When Fred and Marlene got married, John gifted a small plot of land to his son. Fred bought a small adjacent lot of land for $285 and began building a home. Like the Piersons, the Hawryluks started out with very little. However, they were hard working, self-reliant, and frugal. Determined to remain debt-free, they patiently built their home as they could afford it over a period of two years. As a result, they never had a mortgage. They invested sweat, tears, and even blood (from minor accidents) into the construction of a modest, but very comfortable and tidy home. Fifty years later, they still live there. The Hawryluks also have a large, well-kept, and productive flower and vegetable garden. Growing their own fresh fruits and vegetables has saved them countless dollars over the course of their adult lives.

Canadian winters are cold (often dipping into sub-zero temperatures), and for the first winter they lived in only one room and used an outhouse. Fred wired the house himself after proactively seeking out lessons on the skill. Throughout the construction process, he would often walk to where another home was being constructed and observe how the builders were proceeding. He learned a lot from these observations, and managed to progress with his own home’s construction by working a step or two behind another home’s construction crew. Marlene helped Fred with much of the manual labor, including sawing boards.

Like Charlie and Muriel, Fred and Marlene have a large family that includes five children, 23 grandchildren, and 14 great-grandchildren. They taught their children the same life lessons that brought them success, and their children and grandchildren are, in turn, teaching those lessons to their children.

Fred & Marlene aren’t famous or rich—unless you consider wonderful family members, fresh and delicious fruits & vegetables, and zero debt as assets in their “portfolio,” in which case they are wealthy indeed. But the Hawryluk’s are happy, and you can’t put a price on happiness. In fact, they refer to their little heaven on Earth as the “Happy Hawruluk House,” or the “Hawryluk Haven.” Now in the twilight of their lives, they can look back on their long lives with satisfaction, contentment, and most importantly—inner peace. I’ve met a lot of monetarily rich folks who can’t do that. I’ll bet you have too.

Marlene at work out back of the "Happy Hawryluk House"
in her and Fred's productive vegetable and flower gardens.

SAL Case Study: The Charlie & Muriel Pierson Story

Quiet Self-Action Leadership from the Silent Generation

Part 1

It is one thing to exercise effective SAL for a day-or-two, or a couple of weeks—or even a few months or years. Practicing it for the better part of an entire lifetime, however, is another matter! This chapter’s case study highlights the life story of two remarkable people who accomplished the difficult feat of enduring to the end of a long life while practicing effective SAL along much of the way.

Charlie and Muriel Pierson, of Alberta, Canada, are excellent examples of what Joseph Badaracco, Jr. describes as quiet leaders.

These men and women aren’t high-profile champions of causes, and don’t want to be. They don’t spearhead ethical crusades. They move patiently, carefully, and incrementally. They do what is right—for their organizations, for the people around them, and for themselves—inconspicuously and without casualties. I have come to call these people quiet leaders because their modesty and restraint are in large measure responsible for their impressive achievements. And since many big problems can only be resolved by a long series of small efforts, quiet leadership, despite its seemingly slow pace, often turns out to be the quickest way to make an organization—and the world—a better place. [1]

LAW 8:

Existential Growth cannot be given, traded for, or bought; it must be earned.

If you have enough money, you can buy any product or service. But, all the money and technology in the world won’t buy knowledge, skills, integrity, courage, compassion, patience, happiness, real friendship, or Existential Growth. Developing character and shaping your existence always has a price tag in time and effort, and the price can sometimes prove steep—even steeper than many are willing to pay.

This case study illustrates what diligent planning, focused effort, disciplined practice, self-sacrifice, and patience over a lifetime created for a Western Canadian couple from the Silent Generation. Members of the Silent Generation include persons born between 1925 and 1942. [2] This is the story of two exemplary self-action leaders who were born in the late 1920s at the very beginning of the Silent Generation. Since then, they have quietly gone about their business for nearly 90 years—with little fanfare, but much to show for their efforts. Throughout their lives, Charlie and Muriel Pierson have not only exercised effective quiet leadership, but outstanding Self-Action Leadership as well.

Charlie Pierson was born in Alberta, Canada, in the late 1920s. He was the youngest of 11 children. When he was 18 months old, his father died, and then later, at 14, Charlie lost his mother. Shortly before his mother’s death, while in the eighth grade, he quit his formal schooling for good. None of his older siblings were willing to take him in, leaving him alone with his grief and without shelter or opportunities for higher education.

Desperate for work, the 14-year-old homeless orphan saw an ad in the window of a lumber company. Pierson inquired about the job. The manager replied: “Kid, we need a man, not a boy.” Charlie tells what happened next:

"I told him I needed the job really bad as I had lost my mother and had nowhere to go; if he would just try me out, I would work all day for nothing. If he found I couldn’t stand up to the job, then he could let me go, but if I could do the work, then he would hire me. He consented and told me to be in to work at 8:00 the next morning. When I got to work the next morning, I found I was to work with the truck driver hauling cement on a flatbed truck which held 200 bags of cement from the railway cars at -------, Alberta to the sheds at ---------- Lumber Yard.

"Now, when we were loading the truck from the freight car, the truck driver gave me a real trial. He would carry one bag of cement (100 pounds) out to the truck from the freight car, go back in, pick up two bags, and carry them out. For me to prove I could do the job, I had to carry, bag for bag, with him. We did this all day from 8 in the morning until 5 that night. Boy, was I tired!! I went in to the manager and asked him if I had the job, and he said that he had to talk to the truck driver first and to wait around. The truck driver went in and talked to him. He then called me back in and told me I had a job because the driver told him he’d never worked with anyone better than I was."

With hard labor came challenges; his circumstances sometimes necessitated his working outside in temperatures as low as -50˚ below zero Fahrenheit. Charlie slept in a room with no heat, with a single buffalo robe to stay warm. During this difficult time in his life, he slowly succumbed to alcoholism, and developed smoking and gambling habits as well.

Charlie Pierson’s birth year kept him from being one of the youngest members of the World War II Generation, sometimes called the “G.I. Generation,” [3] or the “Greatest Generation” [4] by a few years, but he was just old enough to don a military uniform before the end of the War. After a failed attempt to enlist as an underage soldier (due to a failed health exam), he eventually enlisted in the Canadian Army at 17 in 1944. Charlie was discharged in 1946, without traveling abroad or seeing any action. He does not describe himself as an honorable soldier or person during this time in his life.

"During my time in the services, I was not the type of person that I am proud to write about… I had been drinking pretty heavily when I enlisted in the army, so it continued on, night after night."

Around this time, Charlie began to engage in serious self-examination [5] that led to some important adjustments in his life. One of the primary catalysts of these changes was Muriel Hawryluk—“the milk girl”—whom he met in 1946. Muriel caught his eye and inspired him to make positive changes in his behavior that would last a lifetime. According to Charlie, “Everybody was against us” getting married but “we didn’t care what other people said. We knew we loved each other and that was what mattered.” The two were wed on April 10, 1948.

"How I enjoyed being Charlie’s wife! I can’t forget the joy I experienced to be with Charlie 24 hours of the day. It was so important to me to marry the one I loved, but it was even more important to love the one I married. This made up for any inconvenience that came our way. We had no fridge, no cupboards, no utilities, and only a wood stove to cook on. We carried our water from Clifford’s well. We enjoyed it all."

Following their wedding, Charlie and Muriel got serious about what was important to them and what they wanted from life. Charlie decided to rekindle his religious faith and Muriel decided to join his church. While Charlie was not an alcoholic or gambling addict, he made the decision to put tobacco, alcohol, and gambling behind him for good after marrying Muriel. He and Muriel remained faithful to their church, their employment, their community, their family, and to each other for the rest of their lives. Along the way, they became models of self-sufficiency, selflessness, and good citizenship. They were not perfect—no self-action leader is—but amidst whatever mistakes they made along the way, they effectively personified what it means to be a successful self-action leader.

According to Charlie, “We had to work hard for what we got,” but, he adds, “I’m glad of it.” Life was not easy after they got married. Their accommodations, at best, were modest. He describes their first home in Alberta as a “two room house that wasn’t much to take a young beautiful girl to, but that’s all we had.” He recounts, “that year there were crickets by the billions. They would come through the cracks in the floor; they’d drop off the ceiling onto our bed at night; they were everywhere.”

From there, they moved to a larger city where they rented a couple of rooms from another family and shared a communal bathroom. Later, they lived with Muriel’s mother for a short period of time. Not wishing to make it a long-term arrangement, Charlie sold their car to build his family their own home.

With $1,075 from the sale of their car, they began work on their home. Charlie did most of the work himself, including digging out their basement. They continued to pursue their dream of having a place to call their own, despite Charlie breaking his nose with a hammer, and a blizzard flooding their house with snow. Although they struggled to keep warm that first winter, they continued to grow in their love and devotion to one another, and were surprisingly content in their difficult circumstances. Finally, after a herculean effort, and the near fatal birth of one of their daughter, the house was done.

Over the next 10 years, Charlie pursued a career in law enforcement, and he and Muriel had four more children. During this period of their life, Charlie and Muriel became increasingly dedicated to their faith, and Charlie remained firm in his decision to rid his life of tobacco, alcohol, and gambling.

One of the greatest indicators of Charlie and Muriel’s Self-Action Leadership was their desire to be self-reliant. This desire fueled Charlie’s ambition to build his wife and family a home.

The House that Charlie built in 1960 (top) and 2000 (bottom)

"Early in 1958, I saw a picture in the paper of the Home of the Week. I loved the home, brought it home, and said to Muriel, ‘Here’s your new home. What do you think of it?’ She just laughed at me. I said, ‘I am really serious. This will be your new home.’ I contacted her dad and bought a 50-foot lot south of our property for $600. On buying the lot, I proceeded to tear down the fence and dig up the rhubarb, and Muriel said, ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ I stated, ‘This is where you new home’s going to be, the one I showed you.’ I think now she’s taking me seriously. I got the building permit, hired the basement dug, and had the basement walls poured, and the sub-floor on. And from there I built the rest of the house by myself with limited help from different people."

When Charlie and Muriel built their first, there were only about seven houses visible in the surrounding vicinity. Over time, a large community sprung up that was eventually annexed by an even larger city. Fifty-five years after first starting their dream home, Charlie and Muriel are still living there.

Over the course of those five decades, they accomplished many things. Charlie served in law enforcement for 30 years before retiring in 1982.

In what little spare time he had, Charlie took up the hobby of rebuilding old cars. His achievements as a hobbyist culminated with his building two different recreational vehicles (RVs) he could use for family vacations. He had no formal training in auto mechanics, but doggedly pursued self-education on the subject. He persisted through whatever problems or obstacles that arose. Sometimes while working on an automotive project, he would go to bed without any idea how to proceed. When this would occur, he would pray for help and the inspiration would come—sometimes in the middle of the night—often leading him to get up and work until daybreak pursuing whatever ideas came, according to Charlie, as an answer to his prayers. Below is a series of pictures of a car that Charlie restored from start to finish.

Starting out...

All finished!

Charlie and Muriel’s self-reliance was made possible in part by their frugality. As newlyweds, Charlie told Muriel that, “two could live as cheap as one,” and he still believes it. If something needed mending or repairing, they usually managed to fix it themselves, thus saving the cost of hiring a repairman.

Rather than living lives primarily aimed at self-promotion or aggrandizement, the Piersons’ lives have been consistently aimed at contributing meaningfully to the well being of their marriage, family (they raised five children to adulthood), church, and community. Additionally, Charlie and Muriel donated a sizable portion of their personal time, effort, and money to their church.

Extended Pierson Family in 1998.

Presently, the Pierson’s have five children, 24 grandchildren, and nearly 60 great-grandchildren. The following picture was taken of their posterity at their 50th wedding anniversary.

Charlie’s journey through life has not always been easy—even after he transcended his difficult years after being orphaned. He dealt with many health problems over the course of his lifetime: repeated bouts with kidney stones, varicose veins, blood clots, glaucoma, hypoglycemia, and prostate issues—to name a few.

Muriel has faced her challenges as well, including her original family’s vehement disagreement with her decision to join Charlie’s church, the painful divorce of one of her sons, and the subsequent estrangement of several of her grandchildren. Through it all, they have managed to live long, and live well.

In their later years, they invested a great deal of love and time in making woodworking projects for all of their grandchildren.

They are tremendous models of “extraordinary ordinary people.” [6] Charlie and Muriel have remained devoted to their family in word and deed, and to each other as well. Rarely, if ever, have I observed a couple—especially of their age—who are more caring and devoted to each other. [7]


Next Blog Post: Friday, February 6, 2015 ~ SAL Case Study: The Fred & Marlene Hawryluk Story


[1] Badaracco, J.L., Jr. (2002) Leading Quietly: An Unorthodox Guide to Doing the Right Thing. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press. Pages 1-2.
[2] Strauss, W. & Howe, N. (1991). Generations: The History of America’s Future, 1584 to 2069. New York: Quill, Page 279.
[3] Ibid. Page 261.
[4] Brokaw, T. (1998). The Greatest Generation. New York, NY: Delta.
[5] Neck, C. P., & Manz, C. C. (2010). Mastering Self-Leadership: Empowering Yourself
for Personal Excellence (Fifth ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall. See page 19.
[6] The title of Condoleezza Rice’s recent memoir about her growing up years with her parents. Rice, C. (2010) Extraordinary, Ordinary people: A Memoir of Family. New York, NY: Crown.
[7] Once scene in particular illustrates the sincerity of the love they still share, 65 years later. While visiting them recently in their Canadian home, I noticed how close the couple chose to sit next to each other. Charlie rested his left hand tenderly on Muriel’s right leg. Muriel rested her left hand gently on his arm. After 63 years of marital fidelity and devotion, it seemed they adored each other as much as ever.

SAL Book: Universal Laws

LAW 6

Universal Laws exist to determine the price of Existential Growth.

The acquisition or achievement of anything comes with a price in time, effort, difficulty, pain, and/or money. The same is true of Existential Growth. The price of an individual achievement may differ from person to person based on each individual’s unique set of
SAL variables (benefits and limitations). As a result, what is easy and cheap for one person may be hard and expensive for another, and vice versa. Nevertheless, achieving the highest levels of Existential Growth is hard for anyone who undertakes the challenge.

SAL Mantra

Ease & Difficulty are Absolutely Relative to your ability, or lack thereof, to do.

COROLLARY 6.1: You cannot circumvent or cheat Universal Laws.

Universal Laws, like natural laws of science, must be respected and obeyed to avoid devastating consequences. For example, you can forget about the law of gravity, or choose to ignore it, but that does not change its presence in our world and universe, nor does it preclude the consequences that flow from disregarding it.

COROLLARY 6.2: Universal Laws apply to everyone; they do not play favorites.

Universal Laws do not care who you are. It doesn’t matter if you are the President of the United States, the Queen of England, or a homeless person on the street; the consequences of your thoughts, speech, and actions are determined by the omnipotent decrees of the Laws. No one is absolved of the consequences that flow from these decrees.

COROLLARY 6.3 (A PARADOX OF UNIVERSAL LAWS, PART 2): Universal Laws Create Limitations.

There are some things in this world that human beings simply cannot do, or at least cannot do yet. For example, we are currently unable to travel at the speed of light, fully cure cancer and AIDS, or scientifically answer questions like: “is there life on other planets,” “is there a God,” or “does life continue after death?” Furthermore, people are limited in what they can individually accomplish. In other words, no matter what the motivational speakers try and tell you, you can’t do absolutely anything you put your mind to. You can, no doubt, accomplish great things, but your extraordinary potential does not translate into human omnipotence.

One of life’s great challenges is differentiating between perceived and actual limitations and potential. While the concept of Existential Growth does provide a vision of your potential, it is ultimately a means of measuring what you have actually become, existentially speaking.

A key component of SAL is self-knowledge. The better you know yourself, the better you will understand your strengths and weaknesses. This knowledge will empower you to work to minimize or eliminate your weaknesses and to magnify and maximize your strengths. In this world, it does little good to cultivate the idea that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. You are much wiser to recognize your particular aptitudes (or lack thereof) and then become laser-focused on realizing your true potential.

For example, I am tall and skinny, with small bones and lean muscles—an ectomorph. As a result, I will never be a world champion weight lifter—no matter how positively I think, what training techniques I apply, or how hard I try. I can always become stronger and improve my own weight lifting performance, but it’s unrealistic to expect that I could ever compete with a mesomorph—someone born with a body well suited for weight lifting. On the other hand, as an experienced and skilled middle-distance runner, no champion weight lifter will ever beat me in a mile race when I am in top shape. No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.

SAL Mantra

No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.

Smart self-action leaders become acquainted early with who they are, and what they have to offer. Rather than living in a fairy-tale world of imaginary achievements, they dedicate their lives to maximizing their unique opportunities for success and achievement, while contributing meaningfully to others along the way.

COROLLARY 6.4 (A PARADOX OF UNIVERSAL LAWS, PART 2): Universal Laws Create Benefits.

Universal Laws paradoxically limit and empower you at the same time. For example, the law of gravity precludes you from jumping off of high cliffs without incurring serious injury or death. But respecting gravity opens up a variety of new opportunities that would be impossible without its presence. For example, without gravity you can’t fly, skydive, hang-glide, bungee jump, cliff jump into water, etc.

COROLLARY 6.5: Existential Growth requires humility before Universal Laws.

It’s possible to have short-term success while disregarding Universal Laws. But know that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction (and in the case of negative unintended consequences, they may not feel all that “equal” when the consequences come). Consequences find everybody at some point, because Universal Laws apply to everyone. So while short-term success might bring a measure of fulfillment now, their unfortunate long-term consequences will collect payment later—often with painful interest.

To illustrate, a person without integrity, self-control, compassion, and honor—no matter how wealthy and polished they may seem—has very little to offer in the way of a positive legacy, healthy relationships, and personal fulfillment. You’re not likely to enjoy their company, or even seek them out (unless you need something). Such a person is more likely to suffer from crippling isolation and loneliness, locked in a cycle of dysfunctional selfishness.

On the other hand, a person living a lifetime of SAL, no matter how modest their means, is a person worth knowing. The contributions of these “good people” are meaningful and appreciated. Self-action leaders are powerful people by virtue of their hard work and dedication. This is all the more true because people around them recognize their intrinsic goodness and worth. They are at peace with themselves and others. A self-action leader is confident, not arrogant. Their very presence uplifts, attracts, and supports others naturally. A true self-action leader is a force to be reckoned with, and influences positive change in themselves, others, and their surroundings.

COROLLARY 6.6: Honesty, integrity, and accurate self-awareness constitute humility.

Humility requires that you:

• Seek out and embrace the truth about yourself and others (self-awareness)
• Respond accordingly to that truth (integrity)

Honesty, integrity, and self-awareness are essentially synonyms of humility. These terms combine to form the basic quality of teachability – a vital characteristic required for the exercise of Self-Action Leadership and the achievement of Existential Growth.

Next Blog Post: Wednesday, February 4, 2015 ~ SAL Case Study: The Charlie & Muriel Pierson Story

SAL Case Study: The Jason Miner Story

Having already shared Nat William's Story in a previous blog post, today I am going to share another story today of another self-action leader: Jason Miner

"Do your homework. It’s a simple message, but it is what has gotten me where I am today. I don’t just go to a job and leave it there. If you want to be really good at what you do, you have to give up some hobbies and/or free time and you’ve got to really study, because there is only so much you can learn when you are on the clock. Whether it is pursuing continuing education, taking online courses, subscribing to a blog of someone really smart in your industry, or reading books, the way to become an expert at something is to put in the time to learn. Find some time every day to just learn something. You are going to get ahead if you do a little extra homework or read a book."

– Jason Miner

In this chapter, I share the story of a young father named Jason Miner, who used Self-Action Leadership to advance his career and become very successful. With a keen eye for opportunity, and the attitude and work ethic to back it up, Miner was able to gradually write his own ticket in his workplace.

Jason lives with his wife and three children in the Houston, Texas area. He was born in a smaller community in Northern Utah, and was raised in a middle-class home.

In high school, Jason developed a love for woodworking. He learned he could be more productive if he woke up early and went to the shop before school started. He typically arrived at school by 5:45 a.m. each day throughout high school. His efforts earned him awards and the collection of professional-grade furniture that adorns his home today. He graduated from high school in 1996 and earned a vocational scholarship to a local state college, which he attended for two semesters before serving a 2-year mission in Maracaibo, Venezuela for his Church. After his missionary service, he continued his studies at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City. His mantra in college was, “just get smarter, and work hard in my classes.”

After moving to Salt Lake, he got a job to pay his way through school. After proactively seeking out employment opportunities, he landed a job at Cardon Health Care. He had zero experience in healthcare, but Cardon liked the fact that he could speak Spanish, and they were willing to train.

Cardon specializes in providing financial counseling to uninsured hospital patients. As a Cardon representative, Jason would interview people who had recently been in the emergency room, talk to them about their options, and communicate with them over the phone. He worked part-time at Cardon for 25-30 hours a week while he attended school. In time, he earned a Bachelor’s degree in political science with a minor in Spanish.

Over time, Cardon began to significantly expand their clientele. Jason worked hard, demonstrated dependability and integrity, and expressed interest in working full-time after graduation. He was given an opportunity to represent the company at a particular hospital (Cardon’s relationship with said hospital wasn’t going well at the time) his mission being to reverse Cardon’s troubled circumstances. He recalls being “really excited” about the chance to “right the ship.” 

Going to work in the hospital was challenging, but satisfying. He was on a first-name basis with many doctors and other important hospital employees. Since patients had no way of getting treatments they needed without Cardon’s help, Miner found the work to be meaningful. During his time there, he helped people get heart transplants, liver transplants, and walk again after serious accidents. There were times when he felt instrumental in saving people’s lives.

Miner enjoyed his work, and ended up supervising Cardon’s work at the hospital for about three years. In the process, he successful turned things around.

“I like getting stuff done.”
– Jason Miner

By working hard and diligently applying himself, he became an industry expert. His expertise and track record of success opened up another opportunity, this time in management. His new position had him supervising 10-20 people. It afforded him the opportunity to travel and gave him the responsibility to hire and fire employees. He excelled at his new position, and continued to attract positive attention from his supervisors. He also got a raise.

A few years later, he was promoted again, providing him with another leadership opportunity, and a salary increase. He was now running an entire office, managing 30-40 people. In addition, he was responsible for training and tasking an entire team of supervisors.

For many years, Miner’s long-term ambition was to attend law school. As his hard work and diligence continued to reap rich dividends at Cardon, however, his original goal of law school looked less and less attractive. And this is where the story takes an especially inspiring turn.

Jason had always been a hobbyist when it came to computers; he was a self-taught troubleshooter with a variety of computer issues, and had even built his own computer from scratch. His team worked on about 60 different computers, which presented a problem because the IT department was in Texas, while Jason’s office was in Utah. He increasingly got involved with the IT side of things because he could solve computer problems.

If his office got a new shipment of computers, Jason was the one who set it up. If something broke, he fixed it. When network and Wi-Fi issues cropped up, he repaired them. He did so much IT work outside normal business hours that he ended up getting quite a bit of extra pay. As word of his track record spread, members of his team started coming to him with their computer issues.

Things really got interesting when Jason started programming. He originally began dabbling in the science because twice a month, he had to complete a pay review. This was important, but tedious and time-consuming work that was well below his pay grade. It also required that he spend many hours on the weekends outside of regular work hours. So, he began to think creatively about writing a software program that would complete the pay review electronically.

He had already studied a book on Microsoft Office’s programming language (VBA). He was fascinated by VBA, macros, and scripting, so he got an even bigger book on the subject and read it. In the course of his studies, he figured out a lot of shortcuts that made his job easier. Eventually, it dawned on him that he could write an entirely new program that could do the pay review for him. He figured if he succeeded, he could get his weekends back.

After long hours spent coding, he succeeded, and cut 8-12 hours of work down to 30 minutes (25 of which he could be doing other things while the computer completed the pay review on its own). The difference in efficiency was staggering. When people around the office learned what he did, the demand for his skills increased.

Others had similar problems they were dealing with, and were excited to learn that Jason had a solution. He ended up spending all of his extra time writing code for other people. In the process, his office became far more efficient.

About this same time, Cardon needed to replace their outdated computer systems. When Jason heard the news, he was proactively vocal about his desire to participate. At every available opportunity, he put forth excellent suggestions and provided much needed input based in his hands-on experience with making IT systems better in the office. It was challenging to get his voice heard at first because he wasn’t officially part of the IT Department; but he was pleasantly persistent. Eventually, as the IT director learned the things Jason had done, word of his skill and qualifications made it to the CEO. Subsequently, the CEO personally informed the IT director that he wanted to include Jason in the discussion.

As a result, IT headquarters created a new position and told Jason that if he was willing to move to Texas, Cardon would make him the project manager of the entire system conversion. He would work with computer programmers and developers to make sure the system was correctly built and properly tested. Jason accepted the promotion, which came with yet another raise. At about this time, he was also offered another management promotion, which likely would have paid him even more money than he was being offered in Texas, but he chose the IT opportunity because his heart was in computers--not management.

Jason and his family moved to Texas in 2007 to prepare for the system-wide conversion, set to take place in August of that year. After moving to Texas, he realized the extent of gaps in his IT knowledge. So he went to work to learn. He got a bunch of books and in his spare time, he studied. He made valuable use of his study time to enhance his knowledge and improve his skills—going so far as to set up a test server in his house so he could practice coding.

“At night, after the kids were in bed, my wife would read novels, and I would read books on how to program.”
– Jason Miner

The system conversion went really well and firmly established Jason as a competent IT project manager. After the conversion was complete, he and his colleagues began tackling a long list of enhancements scheduled for the new system—with Jason in charge of the system patches and upgrades. As he continued his work, his bonuses kept getting better and better each year.

A year or so after the conversion, a falling out occurred between the two founders of the company. The director of IT ended up going with one founder, while Jason stayed with the other. The company split created the need for a new IT director. This led to Jason’s eventual promotion to director of IT for the entire company. This promotion led to another pay raise—and he’s had several more in the meantime. Over the past several years, he has gone from managing five to six people and outsourcing their tech support to managing a team of 30 with in-house programming capability.

As the Director of IT for Cardon, Jason has hired almost everyone that currently works in his department. He has also overseen the acquisition of two smaller companies, and retains several people from those company’s IT departments. At this point in his career, he is set for long-term success. For the time being—and the foreseeable future—he is happy right where he is. But should anything change, he and his family have the peace of knowing Jason can easily be hired elsewhere because he has paid the price to obtain so much knowledge and develop a valuable skill-set in a field where such knowledge and skills will always be in high demand.

“This is like my dream job.”

– Jason Miner

Jason Miner if a fine example of what it means to utilize Self-Action Leadership in a rise to the top of his field. From a middle-class kid from a small community in Utah to a poor college student with inner drive and the will to work hard to the director of an entire department of a company headquartered in a major metropolitan area, Jason has exemplified the great truth that in the long run, we each write our own story. How our individual stories turns out depends on how hard we are willing to work, and how diligent and disciplined we are willing to be.


Next Blog Post: BOOK the SECOND, Chapter 10: Universal Laws, Tues. Feb. 3, 2015