SAL Book: Universal Laws

LAW 6

Universal Laws exist to determine the price of Existential Growth.

The acquisition or achievement of anything comes with a price in time, effort, difficulty, pain, and/or money. The same is true of Existential Growth. The price of an individual achievement may differ from person to person based on each individual’s unique set of
SAL variables (benefits and limitations). As a result, what is easy and cheap for one person may be hard and expensive for another, and vice versa. Nevertheless, achieving the highest levels of Existential Growth is hard for anyone who undertakes the challenge.

SAL Mantra

Ease & Difficulty are Absolutely Relative to your ability, or lack thereof, to do.

COROLLARY 6.1: You cannot circumvent or cheat Universal Laws.

Universal Laws, like natural laws of science, must be respected and obeyed to avoid devastating consequences. For example, you can forget about the law of gravity, or choose to ignore it, but that does not change its presence in our world and universe, nor does it preclude the consequences that flow from disregarding it.

COROLLARY 6.2: Universal Laws apply to everyone; they do not play favorites.

Universal Laws do not care who you are. It doesn’t matter if you are the President of the United States, the Queen of England, or a homeless person on the street; the consequences of your thoughts, speech, and actions are determined by the omnipotent decrees of the Laws. No one is absolved of the consequences that flow from these decrees.

COROLLARY 6.3 (A PARADOX OF UNIVERSAL LAWS, PART 2): Universal Laws Create Limitations.

There are some things in this world that human beings simply cannot do, or at least cannot do yet. For example, we are currently unable to travel at the speed of light, fully cure cancer and AIDS, or scientifically answer questions like: “is there life on other planets,” “is there a God,” or “does life continue after death?” Furthermore, people are limited in what they can individually accomplish. In other words, no matter what the motivational speakers try and tell you, you can’t do absolutely anything you put your mind to. You can, no doubt, accomplish great things, but your extraordinary potential does not translate into human omnipotence.

One of life’s great challenges is differentiating between perceived and actual limitations and potential. While the concept of Existential Growth does provide a vision of your potential, it is ultimately a means of measuring what you have actually become, existentially speaking.

A key component of SAL is self-knowledge. The better you know yourself, the better you will understand your strengths and weaknesses. This knowledge will empower you to work to minimize or eliminate your weaknesses and to magnify and maximize your strengths. In this world, it does little good to cultivate the idea that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. You are much wiser to recognize your particular aptitudes (or lack thereof) and then become laser-focused on realizing your true potential.

For example, I am tall and skinny, with small bones and lean muscles—an ectomorph. As a result, I will never be a world champion weight lifter—no matter how positively I think, what training techniques I apply, or how hard I try. I can always become stronger and improve my own weight lifting performance, but it’s unrealistic to expect that I could ever compete with a mesomorph—someone born with a body well suited for weight lifting. On the other hand, as an experienced and skilled middle-distance runner, no champion weight lifter will ever beat me in a mile race when I am in top shape. No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.

SAL Mantra

No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.

Smart self-action leaders become acquainted early with who they are, and what they have to offer. Rather than living in a fairy-tale world of imaginary achievements, they dedicate their lives to maximizing their unique opportunities for success and achievement, while contributing meaningfully to others along the way.

COROLLARY 6.4 (A PARADOX OF UNIVERSAL LAWS, PART 2): Universal Laws Create Benefits.

Universal Laws paradoxically limit and empower you at the same time. For example, the law of gravity precludes you from jumping off of high cliffs without incurring serious injury or death. But respecting gravity opens up a variety of new opportunities that would be impossible without its presence. For example, without gravity you can’t fly, skydive, hang-glide, bungee jump, cliff jump into water, etc.

COROLLARY 6.5: Existential Growth requires humility before Universal Laws.

It’s possible to have short-term success while disregarding Universal Laws. But know that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction (and in the case of negative unintended consequences, they may not feel all that “equal” when the consequences come). Consequences find everybody at some point, because Universal Laws apply to everyone. So while short-term success might bring a measure of fulfillment now, their unfortunate long-term consequences will collect payment later—often with painful interest.

To illustrate, a person without integrity, self-control, compassion, and honor—no matter how wealthy and polished they may seem—has very little to offer in the way of a positive legacy, healthy relationships, and personal fulfillment. You’re not likely to enjoy their company, or even seek them out (unless you need something). Such a person is more likely to suffer from crippling isolation and loneliness, locked in a cycle of dysfunctional selfishness.

On the other hand, a person living a lifetime of SAL, no matter how modest their means, is a person worth knowing. The contributions of these “good people” are meaningful and appreciated. Self-action leaders are powerful people by virtue of their hard work and dedication. This is all the more true because people around them recognize their intrinsic goodness and worth. They are at peace with themselves and others. A self-action leader is confident, not arrogant. Their very presence uplifts, attracts, and supports others naturally. A true self-action leader is a force to be reckoned with, and influences positive change in themselves, others, and their surroundings.

COROLLARY 6.6: Honesty, integrity, and accurate self-awareness constitute humility.

Humility requires that you:

• Seek out and embrace the truth about yourself and others (self-awareness)
• Respond accordingly to that truth (integrity)

Honesty, integrity, and self-awareness are essentially synonyms of humility. These terms combine to form the basic quality of teachability – a vital characteristic required for the exercise of Self-Action Leadership and the achievement of Existential Growth.

Next Blog Post: Wednesday, February 4, 2015 ~ SAL Case Study: The Charlie & Muriel Pierson Story

SAL Book: Your World

LAW 1:

All human beings possess equal existential value.

Any conversation about Self-Action Leadership must begin with a categorical accession of the absolute existential equality of all human beings. This equality is fundamental, self-evident, and perennially vital. The holism of this inclusivity extends to both sexes and individuals of all races, ethnicities, cultures, religions, ideologies, lifestyles, etc.

LAW 2:

All human beings are self-leaders, each possessing sovereign leadership of his or her individual, metaphorical world.

You are a self-leader. Whether you know it or not, like it or not, or want it or not, you already ARE. Whether you are effective at leading yourself or not is another story, but if you are a human being, you do lead your “self.”

Your world is made up of a unique combination of internal and external variables that involve your spirit, body, mind, heart, sociality, and sexuality. Throughout the vast universe, there is no other world exactly like yours. You are, therefore, a unique being with a singular existence and limitless worth. As the ruling sovereign of your world, you ultimately call the shots that determine your destiny.

LAW 3:

Right and Wrong thoughts, speech, and actions exist as real forces and absolute opposites.

Corollary 3.1: Right choices consist of thoughts, speech, and actions that lead to the long-term health, happiness, and Existential Growth of all animate beings impacted thereby.

Corollary 3.2: Wrong choices consist of thoughts, speech, and actions that lead to the long-term sickness, misery, and Existential Atrophy of all animate beings impacted thereby.

Corollary 3.3: Self-leaders who seek to think, say, and do what is right, and who avoid thinking, saying, and doing what is wrong, become self-action leaders by virtue of their intent.

Everyone is a self-leader; but not everyone is a self-action leader. To qualify for the latter title, you must be willing to lead yourself to think, say, and do what is right.

INFLUENCE VS. CONTROL

A key component of SAL theory involves recognizing what you can and cannot control. Most of what exists in life, the world, and the universe, you cannot control. For example, you can’t control other people. You also can’t control the weather, macroeconomics, geopolitics, scientific verities, natural laws, and most other things.

The only thing you can control is yourself. Your influence over others will therefore always be rooted in what you do to manage and lead yourself. Hence, your focus should always primarily target self-change.

Influence differs from control in the same way that leadership differs from self-leadership. As a self-leader you may be able to influence other people, but you can only control yourself. This difference between control and influence is a primary reason I am passionate about Self-Action Leadership—it involves something I actually can control. In consideration of all the things in the universe I can’t control, I think it’s pretty exciting that I can at least control myself.

Change Yourself

Try not, my friend, to change what’s life,
For life cannot be changed,
And trying only brings you strife,
And leaves your mind deranged.

Instead, work hard to change yourself,
And as you do you’ll find,
Growth, happiness, and wond’rous wealth,
Including peace of mind.

And neither try to change another,
That e’er ends up a mess;
Try instead to serve your brother,
With examples of goodness.

The only things you can truly control are your own thoughts, words, and actions. That’s it. Everything else in the Universe you can only accept as is, or attempt to influence. I have intentionally ordered these three elements of control – thoughts, speech, and actions – because your thoughts are the seeds of every word and action. Thoughts, therefore, become the primary catalysts of everything you ever say, do, and eventually become. One of your greatest concerns as a self-action leader, therefore, must be to carefully guard your thoughts.

“A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.”

– James Allen

“Sow a thought, reap an action; Sow an action, reap a habit; Sow a habit, reap a character; Sow a character, reap a destiny.”
– William James 

“When you rule your mind, you rule your world.”
– Imelda Shanklin 

YOU ARE SOVEREIGN

While your overall power and influence might seem small, remember that you are the King/Queen, President, Prime Minister, General, Executive Director, Admiral, Captain, etc. (pick your own title) of your own world. Within the realms of this personal title and power lies enormous power to design your world and choose your destiny. In the words of the poet William Ernest Henley (1849-1903):

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul. ...
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.” [1]

Regardless of your circumstances, you remain sovereign over your thoughts, speech, and actions. This means that while you cannot always control what happens to you, you can control how you respond to what happens to you. The determination of your destiny therefore lies in your life choices as well as to your responses to life events.

There are many famous examples of people who chose to abdicate their self-sovereignty. For example, consider the excuse of President John F. Kennedy, who, when queried as to why he did not demonstrate more self-control and discretion with regards to his adulterous philandering, replied: "I just can’t help it." With all due respect to JFK—and he is worthy of respect in many regards—this is a classic historical example of an incredibly intelligent and talented man who chose to abdicate his self-sovereignty in regards to sexual restraint. In truth, JFK could have helped himself. He could have gotten help from others, and he could have sought help from his faith, but he chose instead to willingly relinquish his scepter of self-control in the matter.

However you wish to spin it, JFK ultimately chose promiscuity over conjugal fidelity. With this said, I am not suggesting the latter path was easy for JFK, or anyone else in a similar situation. In President Kennedy’s defense, temptations are often greater, more varied, and certainly more accessible to those who occupy high-profile positions than to those who don’t. 

Furthermore, I doubt there has ever been a straight, married man in the history of the world who never had a lustful thought towards a beautiful woman who was not his wife. Such is human nature. But these are excuses, and this book is not into making excuses; it is into providing real solutions to real problems we face as human beings. The message of this book is that all men and women possess sufficient power to transcend our baser natures, inclinations, whims—and yes, even temptations—if we desire it, and are willing to accept help and embrace the healing powers of Serendipity. JFK did not lack the ability to be faithful to his wife; he lacked the desire and the will to do so.

Of course, no one is perfect, but an imperfection doesn’t make you powerless to choose. It also doesn’t make you powerless to seek help with whatever human weaknesses and foibles you may struggle with. We all have shortcomings. I have enough to keep me busy for the rest of my life, and I’m sure you do too. We all mess up—sometimes spectacularly. But there is a big difference between messing up, admitting it, and working diligently to improve, and completely abdicating personal responsibility. Too often, people confuse I won’t, or I don’t want to, with I can’t. While doing so is convenient, it is ultimately a fiction—and the ultimate self-deception. I don’t begrudge JFK his weakness; I am simply disappointed he chose to give up his freedom in the matter.

I would bet that every fully functioning person in the world has at least one natural inclination he wished he didn’t have, or that she would ideally like to rid herself of. I know I do. I also know, however, from many personal experiences, and from observing the experiences of others, that intentional human beings can overcome personal weaknesses—even to the extent of triggering a fundamental change in our very natures—if we desire change badly enough. Those who promote otherwise are either misinformed, naïve, dishonest, or are making money by vacuuming you up into a vat of victimhood.

The message of SAL is that I can change; you can change; we all can change! We can control ourselves, and we can choose who and what we will ultimately become. Whether you and I successfully claim this sovereignty is up to us, as individuals, to decide.

You Choose

Anyone who’ll work and wait
Ensures good fate.

Anyone who’ll never quit
Avoids the pit.

Anyone who keeps one’s soul,
By never casting off one’s goal,
Sets up a plea
For destiny
That’s touched
By Serendipity,
Will You?
Will Me?
I guess we’ll see . . .
But this I know,
Though vague it be,
That all of us
Are Free
To be
The kind of men,
Or women
We most would like to be.

And in the end,
Deep down
Everyone knows,
That blame for failure
Ultimately goes,
To each and every
Single Soul,
Whose free to choose
To Win,
To Lose,
No matter how the battles rage.
Come wind, come storm, come ice and hail,
We’ll always get our due earned wage,

Will you prevail?
Fly high and free?
Beyond the grasp of gravity?
The choice is YOURS
To win,
Or lose—
YOU Choose.

SAL Mantra 

I Am Sovereign 

Come what may, at the end of the day, you are sovereign over your life, and I am sovereign over mine. I challenge you to memorize the poem below as a reminder of the enormous personal power you possess over your own life and the remarkable potential you have to make a positive difference in the lives of others. May retaining its words in the recesses of your mind and memory inspire you to make the most of your existence.

I Am Sovereign

I Am Sovereign!

Today I affirm that
I am the captain of my own life.

I acknowledge that as such,
I am fully responsible for
My attitude,
My decisions,
My life’s results, and thus—
My life’s long-term
Direction.

No one can take this power away from me,
Though if I choose, I can give it away to,
Someone, or something else.

This I will never do,
For there is but one me in all history,
And my one shot at life,
I will not waste.

In the past, I have blamed,
Named,
Gamed,
And shamed.

No more!

For now I know that I cannot control anyone
But myself.
Yet in that control,
I can defy Existential Gravity,
Create my world,
Design my destiny, and
Conquer the enemy within.

And with the aid of Serendipity,
I will eventually accomplish
All of these things,
Because

I Am Sovereign!

Something, or someone, is always in control of your life. If that someone or something is not you, then you are headed for a destination that is not of your choosing, the consequences of which will be predictably grim. I challenge you to claim, or reclaim—and then rightfully exercise—the self-sovereignty that Life has endowed you with, and then use that power wisely to pursue higher purposes. This will enable you to realize your full potential, and help many others do likewise.

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life if your own. No apologies or excuses.”

– Dan Zadra

Next Blog Post ~ Friday, January 23, 2015 ~ BOOK the SECOND, Chapter 5: Freedom & Consequences


[1] Reprinted from Henley, W.E. Poems (1919). New York, NY: Charles Scribner’s Sons. Page 119.
63-64.

SAL Book: The Freedom to Change Part 3

SELF-ACTION LEADERSHIP

The opportunity to live up to your Existential Potential is an invitation to practice self-leadership, and more specifically, SELF-ACTION LEADERSHIP—or as I like to call it, just SAL for short.

SELF-LEADERSHIP: Intentional cognitive and behavioral leadership of self to achieve targeted results.

SELF-ACTION LEADERSHIP: Self-leadership that is morally informed, action-oriented, focused on long-term results, and aimed at a continual rise in the Existential Growth of self and others.

EXISTENTIAL GRAVITY

Unfortunately, far too many renounce their royal birthright to the baser inclinations of the animal within. This abdication is understandable; after all, holding on to the throne of civilized humanity is not easy—as history has amply evinced. Forces abound to usurp it whenever and wherever possible, and some of mankind’s greatest potentialities eventually became fatalities in the hellish and unrelenting onslaught that EXISTENTIAL GRAVITY inflicts upon us all.

EXISTENTIAL GRAVITY: Internal and external adversities influencing the poor exercise of Self-Action Leadership, thereby inhibiting Existential Growth and preventing a self-action leader’s rise to higher levels of personal freedom.

Remaining royal requires you fight the good fight and remain ever vigilant. The battles will be adventurous and exciting, but they will not be easy. In the words of one great leader, “The greatest battle of life is fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.”[1] It is a lonely battle, and a long and vital war – lonely because you are the only one who can give the orders to fight, long because life often seems long, and vital because your personal freedom is ever on the line.

ENEMIES OF PERSONAL FREEDOM

There are many ways we can relinquish our personal freedom—it’s easy to do so, and it shifts responsibility from our shoulders. It’s more comfortable to make excuses:

I was born this way.

It’s the fault of my genes or memes.

Changing would squelch my individuality, making me just one of the herd.

This is just the way I am.

Changing is hard, and not worth the effort.

I don’t want to change.

I can’t change…

Not even if I wanted to…

And not even if I tried.

MY BATTLES WITH CHANGE

My life has been, and continues to be, a battle with change. These battles started early.

For example, I sucked my finger until I was ten years old. As a “Big” third grader, this infantile fetish was embarrassing to me, and I’d conspicuously hide my scarred left finger with my right hand to prevent my peers from peering at the visible consequences of this puerile practice.

During the summer of my tenth year, I began to ponder on the oddity and silliness of a ten-year-old still addicted to sucking his finger. Such shame-ridden musings led me to begin considering the implications of breaking my absurdly prolonged habit. In the process, I concluded it was time to take the high road and choose to quit.

On August 21st, 1989 (my 10th birthday), I stopped sucking my finger. Doing so was very difficult. For the first two months, I was tempted daily—sometimes terribly so—to return to my bad habit. Twice, the temptation proved too great for my will to resist, and I relapsed briefly only to try again after each “Slip.” Determined to succeed, I rose each time I fell, and was eventually victorious. After two or three years, I finally stopped thinking about wanting to suck my finger. At age 35, the thought of sucking my finger is no longer a temptation; in fact, the very thought of it grosses me out. I have completely changed. Yet to this day, my left index finger remains slightly more worn than my right—a minor, but irreversible lingering consequence of my decision to engage in a bad habit for all those years.

If only finger sucking was my life’s only vice! At present, I deal with a wide array of shortcomings. Aside from propensities toward depression, addiction, impatience, and gluttony, I also have proclivities toward vindictiveness, lust, losing my temper, and a variety of other personal immaturities, vices, and imperfections. Yes, as far as I have come, I still have a long way to go.

If this weren’t enough, I have also struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)—a story I will relate in a later chapter—since I was 10-years old. Dealing with OCD has been hard as hell. God be praised I don’t have to be my OCD forever. And thank God counselors and medication can help palliate symptoms in the short run, and cognitive-behavioral therapy has the power to change biochemical brain functioning in the long run. And thank God—literally—for His countless graces and tender mercies all throughout the process.

At best, life is often a deeply challenging, frequently frustrating, and dangerously discouraging journey. It would be nice if we could just snap our fingers and will ourselves to the land of authentic personal change. But of course it doesn’t work that way. I have been working on some areas of change for years, decades, or even my entire life. Some areas I have mastered; others I have not. Hopefully, through the tenets of Self-Action Leadership, the help of others, and Grace, I will master as many of them as possible before I die.

As difficult as change can be, I will never give up trying to become the kind of person I most want to be. This means I must rise each time I fall, and unfortunately, I fall more often than I would like. But the knowledge of my human imperfection will not stop me from trying. I believe there is something noble in making the attempt, because even if you fall short of your goal, you will become something greater by virtue of having tried in the first place. No good-faith human effort is ever wasted.

But in many cases, you will succeed completely. When you do, it may seem like a miracle; and in a very real sense, it will be. There is nothing quite so beautiful, impressive, and magnificent, as the miracle of change that occurs when a human being evolves into a better person than they were before making the attempt.

If you are like me, you were born with—and presently carry—a bag full of your own blunders and blemishes. You may have tried very hard and been very clever in hiding them from yourself. But deep down somewhere inside your mind and heart, you know they exist, and they inhibit your personal, relational, and professional success. Even deeper inside, you also know these weaknesses are ultimately a result of your own choices. Deeper still, perhaps so deep it resides only in your subconscious mind, you know you are not helpless to change. You are simply like most of us, most of the time—undesiring, and especially unwilling, to do the hard work that change demands.

REMEMBER

A wise man once remarked that the word “Remember” may very well be the most important word in the English language. G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936) made a similar comment when he said, “We need to be reminded more than we need to be instructed.”

This book serves to remind as much as it does to teach. It aims to review key truths of which you may already be aware, but are lying dormant somewhere in the dusty hard drive of your subconscious. It seeks to inspire you to do what only you can choose to do—and that is to CHANGE.

If change is possible for me, then change is possible for you. Time spent bemoaning the missed opportunities of the past is time poorly spent. You cannot change what happened yesterday, last year, or decades ago, but you can choose at any instant to make yourself better for the rest of your life. In truth, right now is the only moment you will ever have. That makes it the most important and valuable moment in your life—every day of your life. What are you going to do with this gift of the present?

“Yesterday is history; tomorrow is a mystery; today is a gift, that is why they call it the present.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Next Blog Post: Wednesday, November 12, 2014: Chapter 3: The Freedom to Change, Part 4: An Authentic Formula for Change

[1] Attributed to David O. McKay (1873-1970)