SAL Book: Creating Your World from the Inside-Out

LAW 6:

Long-term solutions to most of your problems are found inside, not outside, your world.

For the most part, the biggest problems you will face in your life will not be rooted in external difficulties; they will be rooted in your own deficiencies as a self-action leader.
There are, of course, exceptions to this rule. Forces of nature, others’ choices, structural inequality, and numerous other variables can sometimes genuinely be at fault for your given situation or circumstance. [1] Bad things do happen to good people. But remember, even in unfair circumstances, you still maintain control over how you choose to respond. In the long run, your response is usually more important and influential than what actually happens to you. 

Your freedom to choose endows you with enormous personal power. Armed with this power, it is possible to transcend many external challenges—even those you thought were initially outside your sphere of influence. The lives of many great self-action leaders illustrate this truth. A few of my favorite examples include Mohandas Gandhi, Frederick Douglass, Abraham Lincoln, and Oprah Winfrey. The lives of such individuals—and countless others—illuminate the penetrating truth spoken first by Plutarch and then Otto Rank, into which I have chosen to make a SAL Mantra:

SAL Mantra

What you achieve inwardly changes your outer reality.

The next chapter tells the story of a remarkable woman who demonstrated the tremendous power that can be accessed inside your world, regardless of the external challenges and realities of your life.


[1] Sixteen (16) of these self-leadership variables are specifically listed and addressed in BOOK THE FIRST, Chapter 16.

SAL Book: Your World

LAW 1:

All human beings possess equal existential value.

Any conversation about Self-Action Leadership must begin with a categorical accession of the absolute existential equality of all human beings. This equality is fundamental, self-evident, and perennially vital. The holism of this inclusivity extends to both sexes and individuals of all races, ethnicities, cultures, religions, ideologies, lifestyles, etc.

LAW 2:

All human beings are self-leaders, each possessing sovereign leadership of his or her individual, metaphorical world.

You are a self-leader. Whether you know it or not, like it or not, or want it or not, you already ARE. Whether you are effective at leading yourself or not is another story, but if you are a human being, you do lead your “self.”

Your world is made up of a unique combination of internal and external variables that involve your spirit, body, mind, heart, sociality, and sexuality. Throughout the vast universe, there is no other world exactly like yours. You are, therefore, a unique being with a singular existence and limitless worth. As the ruling sovereign of your world, you ultimately call the shots that determine your destiny.

LAW 3:

Right and Wrong thoughts, speech, and actions exist as real forces and absolute opposites.

Corollary 3.1: Right choices consist of thoughts, speech, and actions that lead to the long-term health, happiness, and Existential Growth of all animate beings impacted thereby.

Corollary 3.2: Wrong choices consist of thoughts, speech, and actions that lead to the long-term sickness, misery, and Existential Atrophy of all animate beings impacted thereby.

Corollary 3.3: Self-leaders who seek to think, say, and do what is right, and who avoid thinking, saying, and doing what is wrong, become self-action leaders by virtue of their intent.

Everyone is a self-leader; but not everyone is a self-action leader. To qualify for the latter title, you must be willing to lead yourself to think, say, and do what is right.

INFLUENCE VS. CONTROL

A key component of SAL theory involves recognizing what you can and cannot control. Most of what exists in life, the world, and the universe, you cannot control. For example, you can’t control other people. You also can’t control the weather, macroeconomics, geopolitics, scientific verities, natural laws, and most other things.

The only thing you can control is yourself. Your influence over others will therefore always be rooted in what you do to manage and lead yourself. Hence, your focus should always primarily target self-change.

Influence differs from control in the same way that leadership differs from self-leadership. As a self-leader you may be able to influence other people, but you can only control yourself. This difference between control and influence is a primary reason I am passionate about Self-Action Leadership—it involves something I actually can control. In consideration of all the things in the universe I can’t control, I think it’s pretty exciting that I can at least control myself.

Change Yourself

Try not, my friend, to change what’s life,
For life cannot be changed,
And trying only brings you strife,
And leaves your mind deranged.

Instead, work hard to change yourself,
And as you do you’ll find,
Growth, happiness, and wond’rous wealth,
Including peace of mind.

And neither try to change another,
That e’er ends up a mess;
Try instead to serve your brother,
With examples of goodness.

The only things you can truly control are your own thoughts, words, and actions. That’s it. Everything else in the Universe you can only accept as is, or attempt to influence. I have intentionally ordered these three elements of control – thoughts, speech, and actions – because your thoughts are the seeds of every word and action. Thoughts, therefore, become the primary catalysts of everything you ever say, do, and eventually become. One of your greatest concerns as a self-action leader, therefore, must be to carefully guard your thoughts.

“A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.”

– James Allen

“Sow a thought, reap an action; Sow an action, reap a habit; Sow a habit, reap a character; Sow a character, reap a destiny.”
– William James 

“When you rule your mind, you rule your world.”
– Imelda Shanklin 

YOU ARE SOVEREIGN

While your overall power and influence might seem small, remember that you are the King/Queen, President, Prime Minister, General, Executive Director, Admiral, Captain, etc. (pick your own title) of your own world. Within the realms of this personal title and power lies enormous power to design your world and choose your destiny. In the words of the poet William Ernest Henley (1849-1903):

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul. ...
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.” [1]

Regardless of your circumstances, you remain sovereign over your thoughts, speech, and actions. This means that while you cannot always control what happens to you, you can control how you respond to what happens to you. The determination of your destiny therefore lies in your life choices as well as to your responses to life events.

There are many famous examples of people who chose to abdicate their self-sovereignty. For example, consider the excuse of President John F. Kennedy, who, when queried as to why he did not demonstrate more self-control and discretion with regards to his adulterous philandering, replied: "I just can’t help it." With all due respect to JFK—and he is worthy of respect in many regards—this is a classic historical example of an incredibly intelligent and talented man who chose to abdicate his self-sovereignty in regards to sexual restraint. In truth, JFK could have helped himself. He could have gotten help from others, and he could have sought help from his faith, but he chose instead to willingly relinquish his scepter of self-control in the matter.

However you wish to spin it, JFK ultimately chose promiscuity over conjugal fidelity. With this said, I am not suggesting the latter path was easy for JFK, or anyone else in a similar situation. In President Kennedy’s defense, temptations are often greater, more varied, and certainly more accessible to those who occupy high-profile positions than to those who don’t. 

Furthermore, I doubt there has ever been a straight, married man in the history of the world who never had a lustful thought towards a beautiful woman who was not his wife. Such is human nature. But these are excuses, and this book is not into making excuses; it is into providing real solutions to real problems we face as human beings. The message of this book is that all men and women possess sufficient power to transcend our baser natures, inclinations, whims—and yes, even temptations—if we desire it, and are willing to accept help and embrace the healing powers of Serendipity. JFK did not lack the ability to be faithful to his wife; he lacked the desire and the will to do so.

Of course, no one is perfect, but an imperfection doesn’t make you powerless to choose. It also doesn’t make you powerless to seek help with whatever human weaknesses and foibles you may struggle with. We all have shortcomings. I have enough to keep me busy for the rest of my life, and I’m sure you do too. We all mess up—sometimes spectacularly. But there is a big difference between messing up, admitting it, and working diligently to improve, and completely abdicating personal responsibility. Too often, people confuse I won’t, or I don’t want to, with I can’t. While doing so is convenient, it is ultimately a fiction—and the ultimate self-deception. I don’t begrudge JFK his weakness; I am simply disappointed he chose to give up his freedom in the matter.

I would bet that every fully functioning person in the world has at least one natural inclination he wished he didn’t have, or that she would ideally like to rid herself of. I know I do. I also know, however, from many personal experiences, and from observing the experiences of others, that intentional human beings can overcome personal weaknesses—even to the extent of triggering a fundamental change in our very natures—if we desire change badly enough. Those who promote otherwise are either misinformed, naïve, dishonest, or are making money by vacuuming you up into a vat of victimhood.

The message of SAL is that I can change; you can change; we all can change! We can control ourselves, and we can choose who and what we will ultimately become. Whether you and I successfully claim this sovereignty is up to us, as individuals, to decide.

You Choose

Anyone who’ll work and wait
Ensures good fate.

Anyone who’ll never quit
Avoids the pit.

Anyone who keeps one’s soul,
By never casting off one’s goal,
Sets up a plea
For destiny
That’s touched
By Serendipity,
Will You?
Will Me?
I guess we’ll see . . .
But this I know,
Though vague it be,
That all of us
Are Free
To be
The kind of men,
Or women
We most would like to be.

And in the end,
Deep down
Everyone knows,
That blame for failure
Ultimately goes,
To each and every
Single Soul,
Whose free to choose
To Win,
To Lose,
No matter how the battles rage.
Come wind, come storm, come ice and hail,
We’ll always get our due earned wage,

Will you prevail?
Fly high and free?
Beyond the grasp of gravity?
The choice is YOURS
To win,
Or lose—
YOU Choose.

SAL Mantra 

I Am Sovereign 

Come what may, at the end of the day, you are sovereign over your life, and I am sovereign over mine. I challenge you to memorize the poem below as a reminder of the enormous personal power you possess over your own life and the remarkable potential you have to make a positive difference in the lives of others. May retaining its words in the recesses of your mind and memory inspire you to make the most of your existence.

I Am Sovereign

I Am Sovereign!

Today I affirm that
I am the captain of my own life.

I acknowledge that as such,
I am fully responsible for
My attitude,
My decisions,
My life’s results, and thus—
My life’s long-term
Direction.

No one can take this power away from me,
Though if I choose, I can give it away to,
Someone, or something else.

This I will never do,
For there is but one me in all history,
And my one shot at life,
I will not waste.

In the past, I have blamed,
Named,
Gamed,
And shamed.

No more!

For now I know that I cannot control anyone
But myself.
Yet in that control,
I can defy Existential Gravity,
Create my world,
Design my destiny, and
Conquer the enemy within.

And with the aid of Serendipity,
I will eventually accomplish
All of these things,
Because

I Am Sovereign!

Something, or someone, is always in control of your life. If that someone or something is not you, then you are headed for a destination that is not of your choosing, the consequences of which will be predictably grim. I challenge you to claim, or reclaim—and then rightfully exercise—the self-sovereignty that Life has endowed you with, and then use that power wisely to pursue higher purposes. This will enable you to realize your full potential, and help many others do likewise.

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life if your own. No apologies or excuses.”

– Dan Zadra

Next Blog Post ~ Friday, January 23, 2015 ~ BOOK the SECOND, Chapter 5: Freedom & Consequences


[1] Reprinted from Henley, W.E. Poems (1919). New York, NY: Charles Scribner’s Sons. Page 119.
63-64.

SAL Book: The Freedom to Change Part 2

A CULTURE OF VICTIMIZATION

Think about the last time you heard someone say:

          “This is just who I am,”

                    “I can’t change,”

                              “I was just born this way!”

                                        “I am who I am because of “So-and-so” or “Such-and-such”

                                                  “It’s someone/something else’s fault.

There are many manifestations of victimization based on the choices (conscious or not) to embrace shortsighted desires and inclinations instead of choosing to develop the noble characteristics of which all human beings are capable. Instead of rising up to their true potential and choosing their own way as a member of an advanced species—the human race—victims choose to view their value as being severely limited, even pre-determined.

We are not bound by whatever tendencies we may have towards laziness, lust, immaturity, dishonesty, gossip, addiction, malice, revenge, ill temperament, etc. We can choose to change – to become better – to become more than mere animals in human forms – to live up to our extraordinary potential for achievement and growth.
      

“You become what you think about all day long.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

YOUR EXISTENCE

This book uses the word “Existential” a lot. This term can connote a lot of different things. Its basic dictionary definition is:

Existential: Of, or relating to, your existence.

This book expands on this basic definition to further describe your holistic State of Being at any given point in your life. Typically, we view our lives through the lens of compartmentalization (i.e., personal, professional, recreational, mental, emotional, physical, social, sexual, etc.). The term “Existential” provides a simple, semantic means of conceptualizing the whole of your life’s existence.

The purpose of Self-Action Leadership is not to work on your life in slices. The goal is to view, and work on, your life as a whole. The purpose of SAL is not to make you a master of one area of life while neglecting other areas. Its goal is to empower you with growth across the full spectrum of your humanity in order to become balanced and whole in a way that enhances and advances your very existence.

Some people are masters at one area of their lives, yet slaves to another part. For example, have you ever met someone who is physically attractive, athletic, and fit—but who is spiritually bankrupt and whose relationships are in shambles? On the other hand, have you ever met a good, kind, spiritual person who had healthy relationships with friends and family, but who suffers from eating disorders or preventable physical health problems? Have you ever met someone who was incredibly successful professionally and financially, but lost their virtue, integrity, and family on their way to the top? Or perhaps you have known someone who was the quintessential family man or women, but consistently failed to properly provide financially for them?

I personally am guilty of many life imbalances. It would be nice if I could claim perfection at everything I talk about in this book, but the fact is I struggle right along with everyone else. It’s not easy to change, but it is always possible. Self-Action Leadership aims to empower men and women, boys and girls, with the knowledge, skills, and inspiration to become masters of their entire lives, not just pet, or petty slices of it.

YOUR EXISTENTIAL DUTIES AS A HUMAN BEING

I believe all human beings have a duty to try their best to develop nobler characteristics within themselves for the holistic, long-term benefit of self and others. This duty springs forth from the reality that, like it or not, we all live interconnected lives; thus, our decisions always impact other people either directly or indirectly. In the eloquent prose of John Donne:

No Man is an Island, entire of itself, every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away from the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a Promontory were, as well as if a Manor of thy friends, or of thine own were; Any Mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.

Whether you know it or not, and whether you like it or not, life has granted you the right to self-lead your existence in this world. This right is accompanied by a solemn responsibility to direct your life in ways that contribute positively to the long-term growth, development, and freedom of yourself and others.

Existential Duties: The duties you have to contribute to the growth and well-being of all human beings and other life forms by virtue of your own existence.

It is wrong to live only for yourself. Ethical living involves carefully considering how your actions will affect other human beings and life forms, including the Planet at large. This means you must sometimes play a role in cleaning up messes you had no part in creating – with the humble recognition that others have taken part in cleaning up your messes over the years. 

To remind myself of this duty, I strive to pick up at least one piece of trash I didn’t throw down every day. One piece of trash isn’t going to make a considerable difference in the world’s littering problem, but the power of the paradigm and practice in my life in the long run just might.

SAL MANTRA:

Pick up one piece of trash every day that you didn't throw down.

YOUR CONSCIENCE

To help you accomplish your Existential Duties, you have been endowed with a conscience. The purpose of your conscience is to guide you toward right actions and steer you away from wrong ones. Yes, despite what many people may argue to the contrary, there is a difference between right and wrong thoughts, speech, and actions.

When the bell of conscience tolls in your life, you owe it to yourself and your fellow human beings, to think, speak, and act in ways that will contribute to the long-term well-being of all whose lives may be affected by your decisions.

“I will simply express my strong belief, that that point of self-education which consists in teaching the mind to resist its desires and inclinations, until they are proved to be right, is the most important of all, not only in things of natural philosophy [science], but in every department of daily life.”

– Michael Faraday

EXISTENTIAL WORTH, POTENTIAL, GROWTH & ATROPHY

Yes, I can change, and you can change. That is the incredible miracle of being human. It is what makes us the most special species in the world. It is what makes all human beings potential royalty – rulers of the animal kingdom and guardians of a planet – in possession of unlimited EXISTENTIAL WORTH, and POTENTIAL for GROWTH.

Existential Worth: The worth of someone or something’s existence as measured by his, her, or its potential for growth and achievement.

Existential Potential: The potential for Existential Growth of a life form or other entity.

Existential Growth (X-Growth): The holistic growth of personal character, capacity, and integrity, as measured by nine progressive stages of Self-Action Leadership development.

1). Education Stage
2). Beginner’s Stage
3). Practitioner’s Stage
4). Refining Stage
5). Polishing Stage
6). Actualization Stage
7). Leadership Stage
8). Transcendence Stage
9). Creation Stage

Note: These nine stages will be explicated in detail in Book the Second: The Self-Action Leadership Theory

Existential Atrophy (X-Atrophy): The digression from a higher stage of X-Growth to a lower stage.

EXISTENTIAL EQUALITY

In approaching the subject of Existential Growth, we must begin with equality. A fundamental truth is that as members of humanity, all human beings have equal existential value. This means that I am no better than you, and you are no better than me—period. It also means that we all have equal potential for Existential Growth.

Existential Equality: The theory that all human beings have equal worth as measured by their potential for growth.

                       

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”
– Thomas Jefferson

Existential Equality does not mean all human beings will have equal opportunities to learn about their potential for Existential Growth.  It also does not mean that all who do learn will choose to grow and reach higher levels of Existential Growth. Many choose existential status quos or mediocrity over the advancement of which they are capable. As a result, some human beings will always be more existentially advanced than others.

Existential Equality also does not mean all human beings are the same. No two human beings who have ever lived are exactly the same. Some voices in society seek to blur these differences, despite the illogicality of doing so.

We are all different. That is what makes us unique. For example, men are different from women. Separate persons have different personalities, talents, desires, preferences, goals, and dispositions than other persons. And let’s face it; some people are bigger, stronger, faster, smarter, wealthier, healthier, and even better looking than others. Moreover, some persons have greater access to resources, education, and other opportunities than other persons. In this sense, none of us is precisely equal to anyone else. Absolute, holistic equality is not possible – or, I would argue, even desirable – in this world. Imagine how dreadfully dull it would be if everyone were exactly the same.

So what if you are bigger, stronger, faster, smarter, wealthier, healthier, or better looking than someone else?

What really matters in the long run is not what you have or acquire, or who you know, but what you are—and what you become. And everyone has an equal opportunity to become something better than they presently are.

SAL MANTRA:

Everyone has an equal opportunity to become something better than they presently are.

Everything in this book is built upon this foundational principle of Existential Equality. I am no better than you; and you are no better than me. That is the way things really are. I may be better than you at some things, and you will certainly better than me at some things; but neither of us is existentially superior, or inferior, to each other. Properly understood, this great truth envelopes the mind, heart, and spirit with a deep and profound reverence for all human beings.

As members of the human family we have the same blood flowing through our veins as King Tut, Alexander the Great, Queen Elizabeth II— or any other monarch who has ever held earthly power. Whether or not we choose to live up to our noble birthright depends on what we choose to think about, say, and do throughout our lives. Existential Growth is not a birthright; it is merely a potentiality that must be earned.

Now before your head swells with an inflated sense of your own greatness, I should note that your royal nature is only a potentiality … that is, until you choose to make it a reality. Unfortunately, a tremendous gap often exists between a person’s Existential Potential and the actual kinetic results one earns in life. In other words, human beings do not always achieve their potential. Many choose to limit their growth and success through the poor exercise of personal liberty. The perpetual question, therefore, is: will you live up to your potential. Will I live up to mine?

We must all be cautious of undeserved self-praise. Yet we must also avoid thinking we are capable of anything less than unfathomable greatness. Beware, therefore, the pride produced by thinking you are something you aren’t; but at the same time, don’t be deceived by the myopic myth that you don’t matter; you do matter; we all matter a great deal—more so than any of us can fully comprehend.

SAL MANTRA 

Beware of the pride produced by thinking you are something you aren’t, but don’t be deceived by the myth that you don’t matter.

References:

Booty, J. (1990). John Donne: Selections From DivinePoems, Sermons, Devotions, and Prayers. New York,NY:Paulist Press.Page 58.